S^x with a Ghost| Fyolai AU

|^ Welcome to the Circus! ^|

"Welcome to the Circus!"

I remember those words being the first thing he ever said to me.

Well, it was, once he found me that fateful day. The day that I, had first met him. And it was a day that I never want to forget. Actually, I don't think I ever could, even if I wanted too. It's a day that is now burned into my very mind for all of eternity. And I would like for it to stay that way, so I could reflect upon the generous moments of being with him every winking minute of my withdrawal from sleep.

It was raining quite heavily, from what I remember. And of course, I had heard my parents screaming at one another, as usual. I don't particularly remember what it was about and now that I think about it, I don't think it really matters.

I could recall hearing my father throwing what I thought was a wine glass at her. I could particularly remember the sound of the glass shattering against the wall in a frenzy. That echoing noise lived inside of my mind without a doubt and I could never get rid of it. Though, I don't know for sure if it really was glass since I didn't want to get caught up in their... affairs, and because of this I refused to go down stairs. The last thing I wanted to do was face my fathers wrath and my mothers broken and deeply troubling expression. It always made me feel such remorse for her and the predicament that she was unfortunately stuck in. The web of grief, pain, and lies. The one that I did my best to avoid at all cost, which brought forth a checkered relationship between me and my mother, as well as my bastard of a father.

Though, I guess that such a connection didn't exist because I never wanted it to in the first place. I never longed for such a thing. Least of all from them. Though I never really wanted one with anyone. Ever. I would always tell myself that every time somebody would try to construct one with me.

That was, until, I met him. I don't know what changed inside of me. I really don't, though I wish I did. I guess meeting him was all I needed to push me into the direction of calling out for a relationship with somebody. There was just something about him. Something that made me feel drawn to him the moment I laid my eyes upon that cheery smiling face that would gleam like that of sparkling quartz.

I remember fluttering my eyelashes up at him and being absolutely surprised to see a grinning face hovering above me. A perfectly pale yet lively face that I could never forgot or unsee. Along with his glimmering emerald green eye that seemed to glow like that of a vibrant valley full of mahogany trees, tall grasses that would tower higher than my imagination could possibly comprehend, as well as the most wonderful flowers and flourishing flora that I had ever seen. Though, for some strange reason his left eye painted a different picture entirely. A picture that I still could happily get lost in if I wanted too. What I saw was a bluish grey washed void that was completely obscured from all emotion and love. It made me wonder if those eyes reflected how he felt. That maybe, just maybe, his right eye was so full of vibrant colors and pleasant images because he finally had somebody to talk to. Because, well, he was undoubtedly lonely the first time I had met him. But I immediately filled that chilling void with my very presence. And that truly made me realize that I could finally make somebody happy. That I could finally be... enough for someone.
I could finally just be... me. And nobody would ridicule me for it.

And he didn't. Actually he was just as weird as I was, probably even more so. But that has never bothered me. I think that may be why I'm so attracted to him in the first place. Other than his wonderful and accepting personality as well as his stunningly perfect looks and overall mannerisms. I guess I could say it was "love at first sight." I think that's how that saying goes, from what I can recall. And some may think that such a thing does not exist. That "love" is something that must be gathered overtime. After careful consideration and studying of somebody's... "interest" they'll eventually realize they want to be with that someone or not. But I care to disagree. I did fall for him the moment I saw him. That much I know. And I refuse to admit otherwise.