Lotr/the hobbit oneshots

Trolls!

Gandalf:*sees an old farm that is destroyed* a farmer and his family used to live here...

Thorin: fili, kili look after the ponies make sure you stay with them 

Gandalf: I think it would wiser to move on we could make for the hidden valley 

Thorin: I told you already I won't go near that place 

Gandalf: why not? The elves could help us we could get food, rest, advice 

Thorin: I don't need their advice 

Gandalf: we have a map we cannot read and lord Elrond could help us 

Thorin: help?! A dragon attacks Erebor, orcs plunder Moria what help came from the elves?! 

Gandalf: I didn't give that map and key for you to hold onto to the past! 

Thorin: I didn't know they were yours to keep! 

Gandalf: save me from the stubbornness of dwarves.... *walks away* 

Bilbo:*sees gandalf walking away* gandalf where are you going? 

Gandalf: to keep the company of someone who knows what they are doing! 

Bilbo: and who would that be? 

Gandalf: my self master baggins! 

Bilbo:*looks at balin* is he gonna come back? 

Balin:*looks at Thorin and sighs* 

Thorin: come on bombur  we're hungry! 

*that night bombur makes the stew* 

Bombur:*about to grab more stew* 

Bofur: stop it! You've had plenty.

Oin: at least Nori didn't make it 

Nori: ha ha very funny...... 

Bilbo: how much longer do you think he'll be? 

Bofur: who? 

Bilbo: gandalf! 

Bofur: he's a wizard! He does as he chooses. Do us a favor that these bowls of soup to the lads 

Bilbo:*grabs the 2 bowls of soup and walks over to fili and kili* uh hello? 

Kili: I see a light! This way! 

Fili:*follows his brother* 

Bilbo:*also follows* 

*as they are walking they hear laughter* 

Bilbo: what is it? 

Kili: trolls 

*they get closer* 

Tom: ugh more sheep? 

Bert: these ain't sheep these is fresh nags

Tom:*groans* I don't like horse they don't have enough fat on them... 

Bert: sit down! You'll eat what I give ya! 

Tom:*grumbles* 

Bilbo: what do we do?!

Kili: go in there 

Bilbo: what? No!

Fili: yes mountain trolls are slow and stupid they won't see you it's perfectly safe we'll be right behind you. 

Bilbo: are you sure about this? 

Kili: yes now go! 

Bilbo: okay I'm going!

*after the trolls find Bilbo*

Kili:*raises his sword* DROP HIM! 

Bert: you what? 

Kili: I said drop him! *swings his sword*

*all the dwarves appear from behind and attack the trolls but end up getting cooked alive* 

Nori: that's hot! That's hot! 

Thorin:*sees gandalf* 

Gandalf: the dawn will take you all! 

Bert: who's that? 

William: no idea 

Tom: can we eat him too? 

Gandalf:*breaks a rock in half and the trolls end up turning to stone from the sunlight*