PAPER RINGS ━━ Jim Halpert ¹

LXXI. ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES

"Oh, come on," Jim replied, chuckling at the smile beaming across her face. With a grin, he took the bag of cookies from her and plucked one out. "No one's going to care," he replied. The office wasn't much for fun, anyway. And impressions, because of Michael, are not fun. "Maybe not. Or maybe they will and you'll become the coolest guy in the room."

He feigned a confused look. "I thought I already was the coolest guy in the room." She made a noise of amusement, almost like a stuttered laugh. Silently, she shook her head at the man next to her. "For sure," she replied, wetting her lips with her tongue. "By far. I mean, there's no competition."

          "Shut up," he chuckled. His fingers met her wrist and he gave her a gentle tug. Her eyes softened upon noticing the love heavy within his irises. "Make me," she fired back, a mischievous glint now glittering in her own eyes. His thumb rubbed her wrist, eyes tearing away from hers. A heavy sigh slipped past his smiling lips. "You are trouble. Big trouble."

          The kitchen door pulled open to reveal Oscar. He smiled at the two sweetly. "Hey, Oscar," Evelyn greeted him with a smile. He moved past her, reaching for the cabinet to get a mug. "Have you heard about Jim's impressions?" she asked and Jim looked stunned. He glanced toward her in disbelief. Oscar turned around, now holding the coffee pot. "Pam said you had a really good Stanley impression. I would love to hear it."

          Evelyn wiggled her brows at her boyfriend. His cheeks warmed under the attention. "Yeah, sure," he replied, coughing out a nervous laugh. "Uh..." His eyes trailed over to Evelyn. She offered him an encouraging smile. It was then that his face changed, eyes hooded, face slack. "Why do you keep CC'ing me on things that have nothing to do with me?" Oscar laughed, hand moving to cover his mouth. And, sure, it was spot on, but Evelyn couldn't help but cringe. Jim smiled, obviously pleased with the reactions.

          Until Oscar ducked his head and left without saying a word. Until Evelyn's face contorted into a look of surprise. Jim turned to see Stanley now standing there with an impassive stare. "Is that supposed to be me?" he asked. Jim cleared his throat. "Oh, hey, Stanley." The cookie bag in his hand crumpled under his tense hold. "I was just doing an impression." Stanley hummed. "I do no think that is funny."

          Evelyn bit back her smile. "He does everyone in the office," she said, hoping to ease the building tension. Jim swallowed, unable to tear his eyes away from the older man. He only hummed and turned away from to two, leaving them alone in the kitchen. As the door closed, Jim met her eyes. They both looked as if they were dying to laugh at the whole situation. "I do not think that is funny," the two echoed in unison in their own impressions of Stanley. Evelyn's face lit up suddenly. "Jinx! You have to buy me a Coke!"

          Jim scoffed. "Oh, come—" Her hand instantly flew to his mouth to silence him. "Nope. No talking, Halpert. You're jinxed," she reminded him with humor flooding her tone. His eyes rolled. He wanted to tease her, ask her how old she is. But he couldn't. With another roll of his eyes, he turned on his heels toward the vending machine. Evelyn bounced behind him giddily. "So, Jim is not allowed to talk until he buys me a Coke," she explained to the cameraman following them. "Those are the rules of jinx. And they are unflinchingly rigid."

          Jim made a show of popping the coins in with flair before jabbing the button for a can of Coke. When he didn't hear the familiar plop, the duo glanced at the machine. In red letters, the machine declared the Coke sold out. Evelyn gasped at his misfortune. "Wow," she exhaled. "Tough break." Jim motioned toward the machine, mouthing the words, 'come on'. "Sorry, honey, that's not my problem. I don't stock the vending machine." She shrugged slightly before giving in and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Good luck!"