Flowers on the Floor

CHAPTER X: THE MESS WE MADE

Alissa slides off my couch in the most dramatic way possible.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing right now!" She groans, looking up at the ceiling from the floor. "You're telling me, in the span of a month, you had both Eiza Gonzalez and Hailee Steinfeld in bed with you. You went to the alter twice?!"

I try not to laugh at her reaction so I cover my face with my hands. "It's not like that."

Alissa quickly climbs back onto the couch and looks at me attentively. "You know you have to spill."

I remove my hands and glare at her. "Absolutely not."

Alissa throws her arms in the air and collapses back into the cushions. "Oh my god, I can't have anything good."

I smile at her complaint and look down at my hands.

"Okay, which one was better?" Alissa asks, still trying to get an answer out of me.

"Okay..." I say, rolling my eyes. "Is that even a question? You know who I have feelings for."

Alissa smiles and leans forward, excited that I even responded. "Okay but Eiza is older... she's probably more experienced." Alissa suggests.

I frown at her words. "Apparently, her previous experiences weren't up to par."

"She told you that?!"

"She said, 'Never in my life has it felt like that.'" I blush, remembering our last night in Mexico.

Alissa climbs to her feet and lets out a scream as she places her hands on her head and begins pacing. "That's insane!"

I laugh at her reaction and shake my head. "Still... being with Hailee meant more." My expression changes completely as I reflect on what took place after we slept together. My heart sinks as I remember the pictures of her and Niall in the parking garage.

Alissa sits down and begins to nod, remembering the conversation we had that night when I called to tell her everything. "Yeah, even I'm shocked that she would be kissing the guy less than an hour prior to coming over here." Alissa leans back on the couch. "I get that she slept with you after she found out he cheated but she could've waited."

"Yeah, the fact that it was so soon is what bothers me." I add.

Alissa nods at my words and turns her eyes to the flame dancing in the fireplace. We remain silent for a moment until she finally breaks the silence and my thoughts.

"Do you think you'll forgive her?"

I look up at Alissa and move my eyes to the fireplace before answering. I'm not sure.

"I think I just need time." I hesitate. "I already feel stupid because as soon as I have her, it blows up in my face."

"I mean, you said she told you she loves you when you guys were in New York." Alissa shrugs. "Of course, at the time, that didn't mean much to you because she was with Niall. Does it mean anything now, despite everything?"

I think about her question. "I think it's always meant something but it did upset me knowing her feelings were in two separate places. Now... I'm not too sure how I feel. When we were arguing afterwards, I told her I love her and that I always end up in the shittiest situations because of it."

"Damn." Alissa sighs, nodding at the fireplace.

"Yeah... I was upset but that's how I feel sometimes." I shrug.

Alissa looks over at me. "Have you spoken to Eiza since you got back?"

Guilt rushes over me. "Believe it or not, she called to check on me the night we got back from Mexico. Even though Hailee hasn't spoken to her, she cared more about whether or not I was okay."