You Are Loved // DADZAWA

1M Reads - A New Start

To Clarify:

MANIA:

Mania is more than just having extra energy. It's a mood disturbance that makes you atypically energized, both physically and mentally, for a week or more.

1) your behavior is so extreme that regular activities cannot be maintained

2) delusions or hallucinations may occur

3) feelings of invincibility are common

4) you may feel "detached" from reality

HYPOMANIA:

Hypomania is a milder form of mania. If you're experiencing hypomania, your energy level is higher than usual, but it's not as extreme as in mania, and it may only last for a few days.

1) people might notice changes, but your regular activities may still be maintained

2) typically, delusions and hallucinations do not occur

3) risk-taking is common

4) you may feel easily distracted

Now, I want to state that everyone's symptoms and diagnosis is different. These are just what people typically experience. Having Bipolar II is NOT a less major version of Bipolar I—they are totally different from each other and should NOT be compared.

You may be wondering, how does this have anything to do with what I'm talking about?

Let me explain.

Unknowingly, at the time I was writing the 'You Are' series and it's multitude of books, I was in a Hypomanic episode.

When you experience Hypomania, your body feels an abnormally large amount of energy caused by chemicals in your brain producing a large amount of endorphins after you've been triggered by a specific event. For me, I get triggered by a vital amount of stress, the loss of a loved one, overstimulation, and—most importantly—alcohol intake. I don't drink often, but even a tiny sip of alcohol will do it.

When I'm in a Hypomanic episode, I tend to constantly write and think of the most wild stories imaginable. I've written down over 300+ story and playwriting ideas while in my Hypomanic episodes in order to keep myself distracted from doing something I'll seriously regret. I am a very impulsive person, so I have to distract myself constantly—I do that by writing.

And I wrote the entirety of the 'You Are' series' plot during a Hypomanic episode. The last seven books, at least.

And needless to say, the plot sucks ass.

I was so loopy and out of it when writing the books, that I don't even know what I was thinking. I write the most ridiculous things when I'm Hypomanic—I'm basically a happy, delirious drunk without the actual happiness (it's just the chemicals).

And that's why I've put You Are Protected on hiatus for the time being. I have no clue what to do with that story now since I have no real motivation to continue it.