Losing Logan

Chapter 12

The next morning, Bruno shoots me a text to

say good morning and asks me to meet him

in the parking lot before class. He has practice

after school so we're taking separate cars today. I have to

admit, after our kiss last night I was almost glad he wasn't

picking me up. I mean, how am I supposed to greet him

now? Will he be one of those guys who likes to make

out in public all the time? I'm so nervous I feel like I've

swallowed a wasp's nest.

Logan watched over me all night as I tossed and

turned restlessly. Nothing like good old fashioned terror

to keep you up all night. Every once in a while I caught

him looking at me with this soft expression. Something

about it made me feel warm and safe. He'd left the room

while I changed without my having to ask, then reemerged

right away. True to his word he's sticking close

today, though he hasn't been his normal, chatty self. He's

been stoic, a man with a lot on his mind. As I drive to

school, the silence is physically painful, weighing down

on me like a sack of bricks.

"So, what's the plan today?" I ask, opening up

what I hope will be a safe line of communication.

He grumbles. "You know. I'm just going to hang

out and be dead. Talk to myself, watch people doing

things I don't get to do anymore. Smell food I can't eat.

If I get really frisky I might go watch my mom cry some

more."

I slam on the breaks, swerving the car onto the

shoulder of the road.

"Pity party, table of one. What the fuck, Logan?"

His moods are giving me whiplash. I know he's

dead and all, but seriously.

"Excuse me for having a moment of depression

about the fact that I'm dead."

I turn, slinging my arm over the seatback.

"Logan, I think you are missing the obvious here.

Yeah you're dead, and yeah that pretty much sucks 24-7.

But you are also like, free. I mean, you said you wanted to

go to New York, right? So go now. Go today. You don't

even need a plane ticket. You can just blink and be there.

You can go anywhere. Do anything. Sky's the limit. And

let's be honest, I'm not even sure that's technically true."

He shakes his head. "Yeah. I can do anything.

Except the one thing I want to do."

I take a shallow breath, too afraid to ask what he's

talking about. The expression on his face is raw and full