Calliope

'are you certain?'

Uncle and I stood there as we heard the toll of the bell made by the man exiting the shop. "that all happened quick didn't it" uncle breaks the building silence "say, are you sure you are going to join the kingdoms military?" I honestly didn't know what to say "if it means this will help us get by then I don't see why  shouldn't". There were so many reasons not to, my heart kept telling me to run out the door find that man, beg him to cut away my name but my mind kept telling me everything will be fine and its just a matter of few months...or years. "if you are certain then who am I to say" uncle says turning the other way, I pictured the cold war as my ears filled with screams and shouts along with the clanging of weapons, I pull myself out of such dreadful thoughts "can I go outside for a minute, get a bit of fresh air?" uncle nods understandingly "sure son, take your time".

I walk outside, the streets were  filled with people all running around going about their day a complete contrast to what I saw yesterday night when not a soul was around, got to say found it better that way. I made my way to the back of my house to the meadow and sat down under the  oak tree that has been here for as long as my memories go. A sense of peace washed through me, the gentle voices of birds chirping filled my ears.  This tree has seen me at my happiest, when I was most broken or even when I just wanted to write the day away. I have cried, laughed and felt the most alive here and so I felt sitting here right now would let me comprehend my actions. The calm breeze brushed through my hair and the grass tickled my palms, I look around to see animals walking around grazing freely and small houses in the distance. I rested my head no the tree and looked up to the see the leaves swaying gently as I closed my eyes letting my thoughts get  hold of me. Glimpses of espoir lit in me 'everything will be just fine' I kept repeating in my head also imagining the expressions on mother's and Healyn's face once I tell them my decision, they will understand, after all its for them right? for our wellbeing, it wont hurt us besides war hasn't even been proclaimed yet what if its all just a false cry, ill be back sooner than I left back to my little home and back to working at the carpentry with uncles silly jokes which didn't seem all that bad at the moment. 

"ah, your back" uncle smiles "felling better son?"  my heart still felt empty "slightly, I'll get back to work now"  he walks unto me and presses my shoulder "there is no need for that, you are to leave for the palace first thing tomorrow; get back home son" my uncle reassures but I put on my apron and prepared to apply a coat of varnish to uncles finished pieces "put those down Niran"  I just kept going "its alright uncle really, I don't mind  anything to keep my thoughts about tomorrow away"  I couldn't really see his face as I was turned the other way. I  gently coated the statue of a dancing girl as her gown swayed behind her with one of her hands held up in a graceful position, it was a gorgeous intricate piece made of fine wood and shone brighter  with each coat I brushed on. "you barely have any time left, go spend time with sister and Haelyn, they will be horrified to find out you leaving so soon" I stopped at those words, its true and its ridiculous that I have to leave as early as tomorrow morrow "ill take care of everything here, there isn't much left to be done anyway, you don't know when you'll get to see them once you leave for the capital"  my heart ached at those words ,I've never truly stayed away from home. I turn to uncle as he walks up to me and  takes the tin of varnish and the brush away from me placing it down "uncle.." it was so simple to hear the pain in my voice. He looks at me concerned "please care for for them in my absence for however long that may be" I plead "Niran, sister and Healyn will be alright you have nothing to worry about" I give him a faint smile as he pats my shoulder . I fare him well and walk towards home unsure what to tell mother. 

"Brother?...your home early" Healyn opens the door for me with a smile "I have something to tell the both of you" I walk in her smile faded replaced by a confused expression "is everything alright?, somethings seems wrong" she questions as I hang my coat nearby and took a seat at the table "not really, when will mother return and why haven't you accompanied her to the weavery today?" she sits down next to me "she wont return until eventide, she told me to stay at home today as there wasn't much to be done back at he shop" I nod "is there something serious? you look uneasy..." she asked concerned at my sombre tone "we shall talk about it as soon as mother's back" she sighs" alright then, are you hungry brother?"  I shook my head in a way to say no "have you eaten?" she nods "ill be in my room, wake me when mother is back" she agrees and make my way to my room. I lay in bed looking up at my ceiling my windows wide open and my curtains swayed gently. I closed my eyes and tried to keep my thoughts from eating me from the inside but of course to no avail, my mind kept playing out the conversation yet to take place and how chaotic tomorrow will be.