THAT FIRST BREAK (Broken Redemption Prequel 1)

Chapter 7

Lucas

"You're right. You deserve to do what is best for you. Whatever you decide, maybe we'll see you and Parker there." The words taste rancid in my mouth, especially as Becca's shoulders tense under my arm and Embree's expression falls.

For several uncomfortable seconds, the three of us stand there. Just as I'm ready to break and tell her I didn't mean it the way it sounded, Embree turns and leaves my bedroom in a rush. As if the air in the room has gone with her, my legs almost give out, forcing me to release Becks and sit on the edge of my bed with my face buried in my hands.

"What the hell have I done?" The question forces its way up my throat in a desperate groan. This isn't how things were supposed to go. When I told her we should put aside our feelings and focus on our friendship, not once did I picture this. Her and Parker? What the fuck do I do now?

Next to me, the bed shifts.

"God, Becks." I'd almost forgotten she was here. "I'm so damn sorry." It's all I say, hindered by the overwhelming shame gripping my throat. It's probably better this way, given there is nothing I could say that would excuse my actions.

"You really like her, don't you?"

Too exhausted for pretense, I nod. My gaze glued to the spot where Embree stood seconds ago.

"I don't want you thinking we broke up so I could be with her, because it isn't true." With a shake of my head, I chance a look at her. Her sad eyes and furrowed brow are almost a mirror image of my own. "I ended things because you deserve better than a guy like me. A guy who's got his head so far up his ass, he can't love you the way you deserve. I'm not a good guy, Becks. What happened just now is further proof of that."

"That isn't true, Lucas." She goes to reach for me like she would have done a few weeks ago but stops herself. "I forgive you. If that's what you need to hear, I'll say it again, I forgive you. It hurt me, Lucas. I was heartbroken because the best guy I'd ever met is in love with a girl who isn't me. I saw it that night. Felt it in the air as the two of you stared at one another. Since then, I've done a lot of thinking and looking back, I think I always knew." Standing, she comes in front of me and then drops to her knees, forcing my down-turned gaze to look at her.

Taking my hands in hers, she says, "That's what I came up here to tell you. That through our time together, I was aware of everything, yet it didn't stop me from wanting to be with you. It's because you're the kindest, most protective, loyal, and responsible person I've ever known. Thinking it over, I realize it's why we lasted so long. You're so duty-bound to doing what's right that you stayed with me out of some sense of obligation, which had the secondary benefit of keeping the two of you apart. A win-win. But in the end, we all lost because the heart wants what the heart wants. In my case, it led me to settle for a boy whose heart belonged to another."

She pauses, her eyes shifting between mine briefly before she continues. "In your case, you are so afraid to follow what's in your heart that you settled for a girl you can't love. As a result, you ended up hurting not only me but also Emilia and yourself. It's time you stop thinking with your head and start trusting what's in your heart, Lucas. That's all I wanted to say. That I'm okay and that I forgive you." With that, she gets up and goes to leave. When she gets over the threshold of the door, she turns. "You deserve to be happy, Luc. Even if that means bending some of those self-imposed rules you're so determined to follow. You deserve to find happiness, too."

When the door clicks shut behind her, I collapse back onto my bed. My palms squeeze over my eyes as I will back the moisture threatening to consume me. I don't deserve her forgiveness, any more than I deserve the happiness she claims is mine for the taking.