Elements' Eyes (Book 1: Going-Through)

A Surprise 2.1

"What a funny song!" he said downstairs, locking the front door of the apartment block. "I'd say it sounds like talking in an ancient, unknown language. I mean, remember that weird guy from the Far North? Imagine he'd have been from an even more distant place and you couldn't recognize any word he said; but you'd still understand he spoke a language. So your singing would be like this. Well, but are you sure your audience will appreciate it at once? They're horrified by everything new, and this is very new, I dare say. Wouldn't it be better if you introduce them to it step by step?"

"Sure," agreed Keernah, thinking that she was hardly going to get bored in winter like she'd feared. "But where is our car?"

"There it is! I actually thought you'd got in by the time," he pointed at the car and hurried to it himself.

Keernah let him pass and followed very slowly. She noticed their car at once, but she needed to part with Ayeso. Talking to her when someone else was around appeared to be unexpectedly difficult. Keernah turned her head and saw the ceald looking for a place over the ground where she could take wing from. That was some comfort – Ayeso obviously missed her friend's tactless question.

"Does it mean that the ones I love are less dear to me than the ones I wanted to love and couldn't?" Keernah asked to make sure Ayeso would not recall the last minute. She knew her question wasn't smart and that she had more urgent things to learn – but wasn't really able to think of anything while the snowstorm was hitting her from every side. What would it be in the mountains?

"It depends. But your lack of desire to be everywhere with someone you love may mean that your feeling has already reached its peak and will not develop further. It can still support and motivate you, but its ability to change you and make you stronger is exhausted. In general, it means you are not going to lose anything needful for your life path if you are not with these people; although it may not be like that for them. But I am not sure you can believe it now."

"I don't think I can," Keernah said, staring at the hem of Ayeso's dress. "It seems to me that if I knew where to search for Flarea, I'd try to. I've just only become old enough to talk with her more or less seriously and get a lot from it."

"You can see her and you can freely search for her everywhere, just because you are old enough now. But are you going to? I see you come home and follow your routine."

Keernah breathed out sharply. She didn't tell Ayeso much about today's visit to Flarea, but the ceald saw right through her. It was a strange but plain truth – when the teacher had announced her departure, the first thought springing into Keernah's mind had been that they wouldn't see each other again. Only after she'd said goodbye to Flarea, being at that much more decisive than the older woman, she'd started fantasizing that they might run into each other again some day – without any effort, just by accident. Even then Keernah could have gone back and try to meet Flarea once more to ask where exactly she had been going. But that hadn't even crossed the girl's mind.

Would it if the boy had been in Flarea's place? Keernah knew the answer. This time, she didn't feel like justifying her choices.

Their car was not far, with its headlights shining across the snowy yard, and her father was arranging something in the trunk. Keernah stepped aside into the shadow of a building. Ayeso scrutinized a half-ruined entrance canopy that, nevertheless, seemed rather suitable for taking off

"So," Keernah went on awkwardly. "With that boy, I didn't have the development of our feelings which I wanted, but I still need to part with the time we could have had, because I keep it in my heart?"

"Just really part with your hope that you still might meet the person and have the time. Accept that it is not to be. Unless your heart is free for a new life, you cannot leave the old one. But I have never said you must forget it. Work on your feelings and attitudes, not memories."