Elements' Eyes (Book 1: Going-Through)

A Surprise 1.8

"Do you want to run away from humans?" Ayeso asked in a level voice.

Keernah also seemed to discern that her friend's face expression was more concerned than shocked, so she let herself relax.

"Well, it's not my main reason, but it's closely interconnected with it – as well as a couple of other reasons. To be near people, even though I may be familiar with them, is dangerous more often than not. There are places or periods where people's presence prevents other sorts of danger, but I do prefer the latter. You know, nature can be dangerous because it can't be another, but people can choose, and most of them choose to be violent or sneaky. We seldom leave the city this late, but I must admit I loved the past few weeks. There are barely any dwellers now, and I feel much safer than in summer. Maybe too safer which isn't actually good for me — I forget I should beware non–human danger. And I feel like the whole of Mogham belongs to me, although I don't really think it's a great thing to possess! But it's quite funny.

"Of course, I'm never alone. There are always my parents and home I can take shelter in. I realize it wouldn't be that great if I didn't have that. But I believe I'm willing to try at least. Seems to be a fair exchange for being free from other people all year round. Am I too self-confident? I know the mountains aren't the place to live in pleasure, but the cealds are there. I know you aren't going to nurse me, but it would be better with you around anyway, and I think I told you that your folk inspires me so much... I know it'll make for all the difficulties of survival I mightn't have to experience if I chose a less challenging place to live alone in."

Keernah peered hopefully into Ayeso's face, but saw no approval, even though she did not really expect that. It was good enough that the ceald's expression did not seem to have got more concerned. But she pulled Keernah back to her: the cealds used to do that when they wanted to say something important. Her friend waited, snuggling up to her with pleasure. The cealds' hair didn't absorb water, neither did their clothes, and by now Ayeso was completely dry and warm in the apartment's heated air.

Her movements were gentle and revealed sympathy. Then she spoke quietly, as if talking to a child, but the meaning of her words was not half as simple. Keernah wondered if little Keat could get just so much of it.

"If you intend to stay and not rest for some time like you did before," Ayeso began, "then it's not just practice that you need. The very ways of your mind have to be changed. You are right about the dangers of nature, but it is not all there is to living in the mountains. Moreover, the fact that you choose it to escape from your kind may seriously obstruct your progress. If it is something you are compelled to do, you will be tempted to return without even realizing it — for most beings only wish to live in peace among their own kind. You may think you don't wish that at all, but the mountains will know and won't let you in. You will be able to rest and walk there for a while, but not to settle in.

"Some humans have already tried to find refuge from their own kind there, but it turned out in the end that they only needed to reconcile with those they had left — not exactly by returning to them, but in their soul and mind. Had they been just aware of that need, however, the mountains would still have expelled them. One is allowed to live in the mountains only for the sake of the mountains themselves."

"I wouldn't say I wish to reconcile with people, and I don't really feel they're my kind, although I understand they biologically are. But most of them are just dangerous, and I can't have any hope of reconciliation. People started degenerating quickly after the crisis hit, and the process isn't going to reverse during my lifetime. It's easy to fall, but hard to rise. My Dad studied history for a while, and he told me a lot about things like this. Actually, my living outside human society may well give me better chances of survival. You know, we humans are one of the most destructive natural forces!"