The Words Worst Apocalyptic Romance Book One

Chapter 1 Jester Robots Must Die

The World's Worst Apocalyptic Romance: Even Worse Edition: Bad72 by Janky Fluffy and Van Millvele 

For lovers of romance, cheesy jokes, and short chapters. 

If you recognize anyone in this fictionalized novel, you have a weird imagination.

Thanks for reading, if you like this novel please share.  

The Toby, Ghoul Flint, and Braquel that have cameos in this book are gags, and not the same characters in Conform or Suffer.

Fun Fact: Humans, planets, and anthropomorphic aliens are capitalized on purpose.

Janky Fluffy

Chapter 1 Jester Robots Must Die

3D printed hands reached for Delkcoda's throat.

"Come with me or die, repulsive humanoid." The rusted Killer Robot resembled The Wizard of Oz's Tin Man repurposed for a low-budget horror movie, where the robot annoyed the audience with cheesy dialogue.

Delkcoda backed away and sprinted through the woods. The ground trembled from bombing in the distance, and she lost her balance.

"Lady, your tacky clothes make my processing chips hurt." The off-brand robot ripped strands of Delkcoda's black hair out as it yanked her Bunny ears.

"Robotic speech is programmed to be smart and precise, but you sound shallow." She broke away and grabbed the nearest fallen branch. Wood splintered as she swung into the robot's metal torso.

"Our owner will give you a makeover and sell you." The robot snatched her waterproof backpack and threw it onto a patch of dead grass.

Delkcoda broke off a stronger branch from an oak tree with her mismatched gloved hands. She clobbered the robot with dozens of blows, but the wood didn't splinter. Chunks of metal and plastic fell into the dirt until a mound of parts remained. She sifted through the pieces. "I can't find the manufacturing information to tell me who built this piece of junk."

Newer robots crept behind sycamore trees. The Killer Robots imitated giant children's toys to dupe their victims, and their bulky clockwork bodies marched toward her with unblinking rainbow eyes.

She struck the closest robot with her branch. "My grandmother told me, I'd be the first to die when the robots invaded, but she was wrong."

A robot wearing a jester hat grabbed her arm. "I wish you'd die tonight." The android wore a jacket printed with the words, Happy Jester Party Robots. "Genetic enhancements are not detected, and her powers are minimal. The hideous woman is a humanoid from the planet Ex-Kindness."

The Jester Robot whipped out a laser gun from an oversized pocket.

"Please, don't kill her. She has special talents that make her valuable," three robots said in unison.

The Jester Robot pointed the laser gun at the others. "My weapon is a glorified stun gun, but it is safer, idiots, I couldn't kill her with this ridiculous toy if a weirdo programmed me to. If you had souls, I could kill, maim, or short you losers."

Another robot slammed a manufactured fist into the Jester Robot's tin jaw.

Delkcoda slipped away, and she bolted further into the woods. A laser beam whizzed by her nose, and she scowled. "Were you 3D printed by the lowest bidder and programmed by drug addicts? Your dialogue lines were stolen from a lame video game Megan forced me to play."

"A mathematical genius programmed us." The Jester Robot fired the laser gun at her again.

She struck the Jester Robot with her branch. "You couldn't hit a static target stapled to your leg."