Find me in Stonebrook

Fourteen

*Tessa's POV*

He had to work. People all over town needed him today to fix things and paint things and build things. That's why at 7am my feet were out the window for our long drive back home when I'd rather have stayed right where I was. I couldn't think when I was in his arms last night. I hadn't thought all day and for the first time in years I wasn't trying to remember steps or songs or lines. I wasn't thinking about New York or home or Ben or Wells or Ethan and Mom. I had been right here, with Parker and no one else.

"Here." Parker put his arm behind me, pulling on my waist. "Lay down."

"You're driving Parker."

"Don't care." He smiled softly. "Come put your head in my lap Tess." I turned slightly, laying my head down on him like we were 17. He was driving slower than he had been yesterday. Not in any rush to get us where he needed to be. I could lay here with him like this forever. Breeze on my feet with the morning sun flooding through the windows, his hand in my hair and the whole world upside down, passing through the windows above me.

It's almost like the past 7 years never happened and I still had everything ahead of me. Parker had always had this ability to keep my head clear from everything. Nothing else ever seemed to matter when I was with him and it was just us. We could be in a packed out room but the second I was next to him it was all silent and I could hear his heartbeat and his breathing and I was fine. I was okay. I was with Parker.

He started talking, about the plans he was making us for the next 2 weeks. Any time he could possibly grab with me, he was taking it in both his hands. I didn't mind. I still got time with everyone else too. Tonight, was game night at Jayde's, Wednesday he was taking me dancing in some dive bar that had some band playing. No one could know about whatever happens whilst I'm here. It couldn't go further than it did last night. I don't want to think about how this doesn't make me any better than Ben. Or how in a few days I go back to him and he can never ever find out about Parker or me asking him to kiss me. Or me wanting him to do it over and over again.

The truck pulled up to the front of the house, both cars gone and only mine parked up in the drive. I didn't move. Just laid there watching his blue eyes set in his perfect face. I reached up, running my thumb over his stubble, blinking back the tears as they filled my eyes. I would let Parker Jensen break my heart over and over again for moments like this with him. I'd keep this from Ben and my family and my friends and I'd suffer in the silence when I go home. Because just being this close to him for however long I got was everything.

"What's wrong?" His thumb swiped over my damp eyes delicately.

"Nothing." I shook my head at him, not moving my eyes from his and keeping my tone steady. Everything. Everything was wrong. I shouldn't want to be here like this. I shouldn't be okay having an affair on my long term boyfriend with my ex. I shouldn't want to be waking up in Parker's arms. I shouldn't feel more for him than I do Ben. "I should go. You still need to change before work." I lifted my head, kissing him quickly before gathering my things. "I'll see you at Jayde's tonight." I was out of his truck as quick as I possibly could be, climbing up the stairs and getting into the house without turning my head back to look at him.

I don't understand how something can be wrong but feel so stupidly right and how something can be right but feel so wrong.

I think Parker had worked out things weren't great with Ben. I don't think he'd have said everything he did yesterday without knowing and I guess me asking him to kiss me and telling him I'm his just cemented that for him. But I wasn't regretting it. It still felt like the right thing to do.

My phone started buzzing in my hand as I sunk into the corner of the sofa and I answered pulling my knees up to my chest.

"Thank god you're alive, you didn't text once yester- what's wrong?" Lina stared down the phone, stopping whatever she was doing in her shared kitchen. I sniffed, turning and laying on my side, tears silently falling. "Tess? Talk to me."

"Are you alone?"

"I can be. Gimme 2 seconds." The scene around her started moving and she set her phone down amongst her bed sheets, coming back into view with her air pods pushed into her ears. "Okay no one can hear. What's going on?"

"I just got home. I spent the night in the back of Parker's truck. We counted stars and talked and we'd had the perfect day and we ended up on the topic of Ben and all Parker could say is that he didn't care about Ben because I was there with him and not on vacation with Ben and Ben's one of 2 things I'd change in New York other than getting my own place and then he told me he loves me more than he did when we were 17 and that I'd always be his and then I told him to kiss me and we did."

"You kissed him?"

"For almost a solid hour. Fell asleep in the back of the truck, kissed him when he dropped me off."

"Oh shit." Lina smirked. "I knew you were done with Ben."

"Oh god please don't remind me of him."

"Do you feel bad? Do you regret it?" I sighed, wiping my cheeks and laying back on the sofa.

"How do you regret something that feels right but you know shouldn't be happening Lina?"

"It felt right? Like, wait was he the guy who told you to stay in Stonebrook?" I nodded. "OH SHIT." She sat up straight. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't have a clue." I sighed. "Not a damn clue."