PRECIPICE [h.s.]

Chapter Sixteen

I try to stay away from her. She's fake and there is always drama involved. I don't have the time or energy for that. I'd rather stick to my friends who like eating pizza late at night and going tubing on the lagoon. Which reminds me that I need to take Harry before he leaves.

"She's fine I guess. Her family has a big house down here and they usually stay for the summer and sporadically in the winter months. Why?"

The second I started talking, I knew exactly why he was asking, and what he was going to say next. I also knew that I was going to have to say yes. I didn't know how to say no to him, try as I might.

"Well then I am sure you know that she is throwing a bonfire party this Friday." At this I move off him and sit down on the other corner of the couch.

"No." He didn't even ask me to go with him, but he didn't have to.

"Why?" He looks at me with puppy dog eyes and slumps his shoulders.

"Don't look at me like that. Parties aren't my thing. I already went to the MDW one. That's it for the year."

"And I get that, but this is my part of the deal. Stupid rager parties are part of the summer fun! You probably don't enjoy them because you were never taught how to enjoy them. I'll be with you and I will show you how to have a fun time without drinking. I'll make you another deal on top of it, if you don't have fun at this party, I will make sure there are no more parties on the rest of the docket all summer."

"Harry, I appreciate the offer but I just don't want to bore you or waste your time. I am not fun, I don't drink, I don't want to get in the way of your fun." This is why I feel selfish for spending so much time with Harry. He needs to make other friends so he doesn't feel guilty when I don't want to go out.

He nods along and mulls it over before saying, "J can I be honest?"

Tick Tick

"Of course."

"No time with you is ever a waste. Also, I'm kinda nervous and I don't want to go by myself. I really just want to go with my friend." His face is serious and he means every word. It's a lot to take in. So I do what I do best, deflect.

"We're friends?"

Tick Tick

"Yeah. That's what this is right?"

It doesn't have to be, I think to myself. Friends. I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

"I wouldn't really know. I never really had a solid friend," he says quietly. He didn't have to speak loud because we were so close, but he still spoke softly, like he was embarrassed by this.

"What are you talking about? You're like Mr. Social, I always see you talking to people at Lon's." I find myself fiddling with the tie on my sweatpants, attempting to hide my jealousy.

"Yeah, but that is from years of training thanks to my mother. I didn't have a necessarily sad childhood. I had casual friends growing up, like school friends. I had play dates, I was never picked last for sports, and I always had someone that wanted to be my partner in class. But once I turned 10 my mom kept us in the house more. I didn't like having people over because the house always felt too big, too cold. I don't really know why but suddenly one day my mom started working more. Even she stopped spending time with us. We stopped getting toys for Christmas, just useful things like clothes and school supplies. We could have anything we wanted that wasn't the problem. And I am not trying to brag or be ungrateful, it was just one of those moments. Like when there is a period of slow transition in your life, and it isn't until that one moment you look back and realize how much has changed."