PRECIPICE [h.s.]

Chapter Thirty Four*

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Beggin' on my knees

Baby, won't you please

Run your fingers through my hair

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Jaime's P.O.V.

I am going insane. Well, not actually. I want to talk to Mel, but considering she's permanently five/six years old in my brain, she's not exactly the person I want to talk to about being so horny I could scream. It's also not a topic I want to broach with Monica or Jess, because I am too worried that I am going to blurt out that Harry's a virgin. Which, not that there's anything wrong with that, I just wasn't expecting it. And frankly I don't care about anyone's opinion on it.

There's a big misconception about virginity. People often conflate it with being shy, meek and innocent. There's this false narrative that people who are in their twenties and a virgin because it isn't their choice. Like after you reach the age of seventeen, you'll give it to anyone who asks because you want to get rid of that label and get it over with. So if you still have that "label" you're not desirable, because if you were, you would've lost it already.

I say bullshit.

My first few times having sex were less than memorable. They didn't mean anything. Harry wants it to mean something. And I don't have a problem with that. I'm a little jealous.

In fact, the image of what a "virgin" is, is the complete opposite of Harry. He is so hot sometimes I worry I might start drooling. And he's extremely flirty! When we first started to spend time together, I was the bold one. I'm the one making crude jokes and innuendos to make him blush. But, I made a grave mistake. Because Harry is smart. Probably the smartest person I'll ever meet with his fancy higher education, but that is besides the point. He is a human. He learns. He figured out my game and now he uses it against me. The asshole.

But we did have to have a little conversation about PDA. I explained to him that I'd rather not be super touchy feely in public. I have a reputation to uphold. I didn't say those exact words to him, but I don't need the dudes in this town knowing I've grown soft. The second they realize Harry is no longer around and the boredom sets in, they'll all be at Lon's. I can see them now, sitting at the bar, making kissy noises like middle schoolers.

Englishman isn't here to protect you now.

Douchebags. I can hold my own, thank you very much. You'd think I would have proved this to them by now.

All this to say...when we are alone or with friends, we might as well be one body. When you've been deprived of safety and comfort your whole life, and you're given a taste, how can you not cling to it? Especially when you don't know when your last bite is going to be.

So, you can imagine when we're alone we are also horny assholes who can't keep their hands off each other. I'm not trying to complain, but the guy gets me all worked up, then pulls back. I get not wanting to lose your virginity on a couch...but it's not like we couldn't have just gone to my bed! I don't want to pressure him, but I feel like he is purposefully teasing me.

Like I said the other day by the farm, I am waiting for Harry to say the word. Three little letters, and the gates open and I can bang his brains out. It's soon. I can feel it. We keep inching closer.

For example...

July 11th 1997

"You know you're supposed to hit the pins right? But if you're aiming for the gutter then you're doing a great job."