Maniac. [DesertDuo]

1 - Rhetorical questions.

                                                                                        [MANIAC.]

                  [YOU WERE WITH YOUR FRIENDS, PARTYING, WHEN THE ALCOHOL KICKED IN.]

                                                           [SAID YOU WANTED ME DEAD, SO.]

               [TW: Swearing, alcohol use, self-destructive behavior, mentions of depression(?)]

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Grian woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily.

Five nights in a row, it was near sickening. Constantly getting night terrors that near drove him mad. everything felt so surreal to him, but also as if it were actually happening again. But that simulation had ended, so there was no need to get upset now, right? Third life was nothing to get worked up over, scar was right next to him. right?

The other also woke up eventually, groaning in a tired manner. Grian tried to hide the fact that he was sobbing, covering his face with his wings and turning his head away.

scar wasn't stupid though, and picked up on the others emotions. He sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes, and placed a hand gently on the avian's shoulder, rubbing it softly with his thumb as a way of soothing him.

"Nightmare again?"

The avian nodded, turning to face scar with his tear-stained cheeks and watery eyes. Grian fell into the other, hugging him tight.

"Third life?" Scar asked as he hugged the other back, to which he was met with a small nod as a response. "Its over now, hun. you don't need to worry. I'm safe, you're safe, its all gonna be okay."

Grian didn't speak, just pulled the other closer with his wings, and cried quietly. scar understood what this meant, and just held the other in attempts to comfort him. He hummed, stroking the others hair gently, twirling it in his hands, and was just there for him. it didn't seem like a lot, yet meant the world.

Scar had generally gotten used to this, as it had been happening on loop over the past few days. Grian would have these nightmares, and he would comfort him. Scar remembered third life. Scar knew why the other was so upset, but wished that he didn't blame it on himself. It was destroying Grian, eating away and his conscience. And to be honest, it had changed him. He lashed out in anger often, he was colder, and he was rude to most people, it was near as if he had lost every ounce and every element of what made him the person that he was.

He noticed that the other was more aggressive, and sometimes saw alcohol lying around in the kitchen, it upset him, but he didn't think much of it at the time, He just figured that Grian was responsible enough to not do anything too dumb. Right?

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It felt like a split second until it was morning again, as if they had blinked and it was already sunrise.  

They both got up, giving up on any slim hope or chance of sleep for that night.

Grian left the room, and walked into the kitchen. A bottle lay on the counter, that almost seemed to call to him. I mean, it wouldn't hurt too bad, right? Its just a bit of relief over the past few nights. Maybe he'd forget for a bit. Maybe that wouldn't be that bad of a situation? He didn't know the answer to any of these questions, but just decided to make the mistake of giving in anyways.

He poured a glass, and quickly drank it. The liquid burnt his throat, harsh, and stinging, the bittersweet and familiar taste of alcohol. He didn't notice himself pouring yet another glass, and didn't notice himself drinking it just as quickly.

A few minutes later, he walked back to the bedroom, stepping uneasily. Scar had gotten changed, and was pretty much ready for the day, sitting on the bed waiting patiently for Grians return.

Grian stumbled in, and scar almost instantly frowned.

"You drank again, didnt you."

"I never promised... that i wouldn't."

Scar stood up, walking over to the avian, and holding his chin gently, tilting his head up to look at him. "Gri, this isn't good for you. I don't want a repeat of what happened last time again."

Grian glared up at scar, in a way that would make you think he intended to shoot daggers with his gaze. A fire burned behind his eyes, and he pushed the others hand away from him swiftly, though not hard enough to hurt. "Not good for me? How the hell would you know what's good for me or not, eh? I'll tell you what, just let me make these shitty decisions in peace, okay? Let me ruin my life. And don't judge me for this shit, if i want to drink, i'll drink. you don't know what horrific bullshit i see every time i close my eyes to sleep. you don't know what its like for me."

"Grian, what has gotten into you, this is-"

"Shut up already, just shut up. If you're gonna judge me, then just do it quietly, i'm sick of this."

"Gri! I'm worried about you, okay? Don't push me away if im trying to support you- I just, Why? Why would you do this-?"

"You know why, Scar. Don't ask questions that don't require an answer, you fucking idiot."

"But i'm fucking worried, gri."

Grian scoffed, before hissing a response. "Then stop worrying."

 "YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST STOP? YOU'RE ASKING THE IMPOSSIBLE OF ME, GRI."

"YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD. I WISH YOU DID. I WISH YOU ACTUALLY DIED BACK IN THIRD LIFE. THEN I WOULDN'T BE YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE, RIGHT? YOU WOULDN'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME. BECAUSE YOU'D BE GONE."

Scar seemed to recoil backwards, as if the words had actually stabbed him like a weapon. It hurt, it stung. It cut deeper than any knife could.

"I thought i knew you."

"Too bad that you didn't."

Scar stared at the floor, a rage building inside of him. He never really got explicitly angry, and rarely expressed it when he did, but he was pissed.

"Get out."

Grian laughed, a mocking laugh. A confused, high-and-mighty, mocking laugh.

"What?"

"I said what i said. Get the fuck out. Go cry to Joel or Jimmy, see if they'll put up with your bullshit, because i'm not going to." Venom slipped off of his words, venom and fury.

"Make me."

Scar grabbed grian by the wrist, and for the first time in years, yelled at him in anger.

"GET THE FUCK OUT."

Grian looked up in fear, and felt a tear well in his eyes, before he yanked his arm away and ran. He sprinted. He slammed doors behind him. He was afraid.

Shit.

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word count : 1072

A/N; jesus christ okay just clearing things up this is my au and this is so so so very not cannon lol im just writing this for fun and because i like writing angst, also this is my first time writing desertduo + writing on pc so if this or my grammar are bad i deeply apologize-

anyways bye losers i might write more of this who knows