training under eteri

2 weeks

i shook my head, and went back to the 4T. no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't land it. everytime i hit the ice, it hurt more. tears started rolling down my face, out of frustration and anger.
(it isn't unusual for us to cry, of course it is disliked by the coaches, but we all can understand where it's coming from.)

i kept trying, but kept falling. by this time, i was almost balling. my face was red, and my eyes were filled with tears. i skated over to my things to blow my nose and wipe my face.
" эти слезы не сделают твои прыжки, анастасия."
( these tears won't make you jump, anastasia.) eteri says while looking at me coldly.
i skated back without responding. once i looked over again, i saw her and daniil laughing. i assumed it was at me.

about 30 minutes later we went onto spins, and then programs. on a normal day we have to practice our programs 3-8 times each. we started with our long programs because they were the hardest. evgenia went first, like normal, then alina, polina, elizaveta, dasha, me, sasha, etc, and last went aliona. when a new person joins the team, they always go last, until they've been there for a while. evgenia had been going first since i started skating here. i think it's because she's been skating with eteri since 2007.

once it was my turn i went to center ice, and started my program.
my 3A exit wasn't good. my hips dropped, and i ended up touching the ice with my hand. i kept going, but as i went on, i got worse and worse. i was too tired to jump, and spin, even the choreo and sequences were too much. i got to my 3Lz+3Lo, and went for the lutz, but not for the loop. a few seconds later, my music turned off.
" сделайте это снова, и сделайте это правильно. нсли вы хотите быть ленивым и детским, идите в класс для начинающих."
( do it again, and do it right. if you want to be lazy and childish, go to a beginners class.) eteri yelled across the rink to me.
i looked over at the coaches upset faces, and knew i didn't have a choice. i started my program all over again, and hopefully this time it will go better.
i landed all my jumps, but they weren't pretty. my spins could have been a little cleaner, and i could have rotated faster, but i didn't. after i finish my program, i skated and joined the rest of the group. sasha was up next, and she learned from my mistake to not be, "childish and lazy". sasha's program was great, and so was everyone's after her's. since aliona didn't have an official program yet, she did her old short. i watched her completely mesmerized by the passion and elegance her skating has. she made everything look easy.

the one bad thing was, she also had a 3A. before aliona, i was the only girl on the team who could successfully land the jump, and now there's 2 of us.

while grabbing my things, eteri grabbed my arm, and told me she needed to have a conversation with me.
it was just me and eteri, which was kinda scary even though i've know her for 5 years.
" мы обсуждали диету, когда вы были в австралии. Ваши прыжки не так стабильны, как в прошлом году, вращения медленнее, вы сидите тяжелее, все в вашем катании неправильно. вам нужно сбросить как минимум 5 фунтов и поддерживать этот вес."
( we discussed diet when you were in australia. your jumps are not as stable as last year, your spins are slower, you are sitting heavier, everything about your skating is wrong. you need to lose at least 5 pounds and maintain that weight.) she says.
she hands me a pink notebook.
" в этом блокноте вы будете следить за тем, что вы едите, пьете и взвешиваете. неважно, будет ли это 1 миндаль или целый обед. каждая калория должна быть учтена. как только вы достигнете 70 фунтов, я ожидаю, что вы не будете подниматься. если ваше катание не придет в норму, мы будем снижать вес."
( this notebook will keep track of what you eat, drink and weigh. it doesn't matter if it's 1 almond or a whole meal. every calorie must be accounted for. once you reach 70 pounds, i expect you to keep your weight down. if your skating doesn't come back to normal, we will be dropping weight.) she says.
" я не знаю, как соблюдать диету. что я должна делать?"
( i don't know how to follow a diet. what am i supposed to do?) i asked.
" в тетради есть конспект. там указано, сколько калорий на каждый прием пищи. на завтрак: 250. обед: 150. и ужин: 300
всего не более 600 калорий в день. Чем больше воды вы пьете, тем меньше хочется есть."
( there's an outline in the notebook. it says how many calories for each meal. breakfast: 250. lunch: 150. and dinner: 300.
no more than 600 calories a day. the more water you drink, the less you want to eat.) she replies.
" я хочу, чтобы ты взвешивалась вместе с остальными девочками, до и после тренировки. мы добавили в таблицу новые колонки для тебя, саши и алены."
( i want you to weigh yourself together with the rest of the girls, before and after training. we have added new columns to the table for you, sasha and aliona.)
the table is where all the girls write their weights. they weigh in before and after practice, and also at night before bed. the weights are visible to all the other girls, parents and coaches.
—
october 2, 2017.
tomorrow aliona and i leave for poland our jgp in poland. (this is our last jgp before the jgp final.) i was a little nervous, but feeling more confident, than i was in australia. my 3A and 4S were practically 70% consistent. i had started working on my 4T, and i plan on competing it. if it do land it, i will be the first woman to ever land a 4T in a competition.
my last practice consisted of a lot of jumping, and program running.