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The monsters were never under my bed

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The monsters were never under my bed.
Because the monsters were inside my head.
I fear no monsters, for no monsters I see.
Because all this time the monster has been me.
Nikita Gill




the wall, what an interesting thing. it's dark grey colouring, how it is smooth except from where the beds have been rammed into it. every room has a wall
they are one of the most common things in buildings. they are the foundations of a stable building and living areas.

azure wasn't thinking about this,
yet she had been staring at this wall for the past 5 hours. her eyes were red and her face was paler than ever. she had not eaten since the morning of the day before as she had skipped lunch and dinner. too much had happened in the space of 17 hours and her brain could not cope. every time she thought she decided to find comfort in al. she quickly stopped thinking. it was currently 4 am and she had no sleep. she felt nothing. the pain consuming her to a point of numbness. she wasn't hungry, she wasn't tired, she didn't ache. she just felt nothing.

a few people were worried for her, such as tris, christina, will, four and even eric. they had no idea what to do with the girl so decided they should send her to bed. peter hadn't thought that was a good idea as he held the broken girl in his arms. he thought that if he was in her position the last thing he'd want would to be in the dark alone. but fours orders beat his so he guided her too her bed.

she hadn't noticed any of this, what she would normally of been fully aware of hadn't even entered her brain. she only felt two things. guilt and pain.

the letter was firmly in her grip, unopened and still damp round the edges of the plastic. she wanted to open it she just couldn't find the confidence, she knows it'll break her. azure had never felt so ill, so broken. she felt done with life.

she suddenly got thirsty, she had no thought behind it but instead got up and headed for the canteen. she could have gone to the taps in her room but the lack of thought made her journey for water.

as she trekked through the halls she had no mind to where she was going, her subconscious just led her. her bare feet padded through the dimly lit halls while her baggy t-shirt stuck to her sweaty skin.

when she finally got there she grabbed the water and downed it. it felt good on her scratchy throat which although she hasn't tried, she knew it would make no sound. after she felt pleased with the water intake she decided to head back with a glass full just incase she needed more.

she felt a little more aware after drinking and she wasn't sure it was a good thing as her hairs started to stick up. she started to realise that maybe it wasn't a good thing that she had left. it was dark, no one was around and after the recent events she wasn't safe. tris nearly dying and al committing suicide had been a little too much for her. she swallowed hard.

of course she had been right to worry as she suddenly heard footsteps, from behind her too. that was never good. they started to advance as hers did too and all before she knew it her vision was obstructed. a bag was placed over her head just like tris' a few nights before and panic started to set. she got dragged by only one person however and she had a good idea on who it was.

carrot top.

she did not want to let that bitch win. so her emotions switched, she did not care anymore it was either him or her. she went limp, this made him think he had the advantage and as soon as she gave him enough time she snatched one of her hands away. after pulling off the bag she rammed her palm into his throat getting loose of his grip. she ran back the way they came but he was close behind and he jumped onto her, winding her in the process. she wriggled from underneath him, struggling to get free. she jabbed his stomach from underneath and she shimmied out quickly only enough to spot the glass she'd abandoned on the floor. grabbing it she swung it into the approaching boy and managed to make him collapse. grabbing his arm she placed it behind his back pulling further and harder. he squirmed forcing himself into more pain making him twist sharply. a loud snap was heard and she knew what she'd done. that hadn't stopped her diving her elbow into his head and before she knew it he was unconscious. she got up and walked away calmly.

she felt no remorse.






.•°•.

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