If I Only Could- Lumax

there is a light that never goes out

since i've been gone awhile, i thought that i'd make up for all the lost time with a new batch of oneshots fresh out of the oven. i've had many requests during my leave and i just rewatched ST so my inspiration came back and i wanted to write a two part because why not. thanks (anonymous) for requesting this! also season 5 comes out in 19 days and i could not be more excited and scared at the same time!

in which: max has an existential revelation while lucas is just being the sweet, romantic boyfriend he always is

this one's based on "serendipity" by laufey🌙💫
*************************************************

Max sighed as she looked out her bedroom window, the smoke and blazing fire visible outside. The cracks in the earth in Hawkins had started to widen, only bringing the houses in the town's foundations down. The past week had been hard as her house was getting closer to being damaged, her mother was drinking more, and she hadn't seen most of the party all week.

However, on the brighter side, yesterday she woke up to Lucas sitting on her bed, stroking her hair and admiring her auburn locks as she smiled at this rare but pleasant way to wake up. That day marked the 1 month anniversary since the doctors released her with an almost full recovery (other than some post-op pain), and 3 months since that horrible week in the spring. So as much as life in the cursed town was pretty miserable as long as Vecna still lived, Max was feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time.

Having Lucas by her side through it all probably helped the most, though. Some days Max wondered how she even got this lucky, how lucky she was that she just happened to take interest in his friend group many years ago, not knowing that taking the risk really lived up to its meaningful capacity.

"So, why'd you come over so early this morning?" She had asked later that night as they sat on the bed in his room. "What, you wouldn't believe that I missed you?" He replied with his eyebrows arched, a smile tugging at his lips. Max looked at him reminiscently for a second, suddenly having one of those existential moments again in her recent life where she could almost physically see the time flying swiftly by in front of her. That long time in the hospital was clearly needed for her health and recovery, but it really did a number on her perception of time. Max was worried that by not looking at Lucas enough, she would eventually forget every detail.

"You and I both know that you're not a morning person." Max replied and looked at him knowingly as he sighed, shrugging his shoulders in surrender. "Okay, fine you caught me. I wanted to tell you this morning, but I knew you were tired so I waited to tell you tonight. I have a surprise waiting for us..." Lucas smiled as she only became more intrigued at this spontaneous prospect.

"Come on, you know I hate surprises..." She tried to look convincing as she looked up at him in feigned discontentment through cobalt irises.  "Trust me, it'll be worth it." He says quietly, going over to his vinyl record player, pulling out "Every Breath You Take" and placing it on the contraption as Max sighed, looking at his knowing smile that knew she had a weakness for these midnight slow dances under a pale moon by his window. "Dance with me" He reaches out his hand, as she wraps her fingers around his, allowing herself to be fully encapsulated in his presence. And something in her mind clicked together in that instant.

It was the moments like this, where he would have one hand on the small of her back and the other on her upper collarbone, his illuminated dark eyes boring into her cerulean ones as if to get a glimpse into her soul and self (she had to admit, the idea of someone truly knowing her like he does was scary at first). Moments where he leaned in close, whispering sweet nothings and making her feel like the person she knows and has always been stretching out one hand to but never could seem to reach, like Gatsby and his green light on Daisy's dock. She can see that person, the one looking back at her from a distance, wondering what occurred to have this separation of selves happen.