If I Only Could- Lumax

a part of me died that day

date: july 4, 1985
in which lucas comforts max after starcourt (request from CATS_AreCoolxx <3)

p.s. if you get the reference i love u
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"I-I'm sorry." Billy muttered weakly, taking his last breath as Max's heart dropped and she shook him. "Billy, Billy please wake up." She felt sobs try to rip through her throat. When there was no response, the painful truth hit her like a wave, and all she could do was stumble into El's arms as she cried for her brother who was taken by the evil force consuming the town she had only known for a year. El held her, trying to comfort her friend while looking at Mike worriedly, still worrying about her dad and everyone else.

Lucas ran quickly down the stairs of the burning mall, frantically searching for his friends. He spotted Will, Steve, Nancy, Robin, his sister, and Dustin heading out the doors, and he could hear the faint sound of helicopters and rescue vehicles. He got to the floor, welcomed with the heartbreaking sight of his girlfriend sobbing into Eleven's arms, by Billy's corpse. "I got her." He quietly motioned to Mike and El, and they looked at each other and nodded, heading toward the exit. "Max" He held her tightly on the tile as she buried her head in his neck, shaking. "Come on." He whispered, gently helping her up. "N-no, Billy." She choked out, trying to go back inside the mall. "Max, I know. I'm so sorry." He put his arm around her waist, guiding her to the exit.

The ambulance lights shone brightly in her face as she felt the warm air outside the mall, holding on tightly to Lucas. "Hey, you two. Over here." A paramedic ushered them over to an open ambulance. "Are you hurt? Can you tell me what happened? Is there anybody still in there?" Max could barely hear what the lady was saying, just staring blankly ahead as tears streamed down her face. Lucas sat next to her, holding her closely to his side, rubbing her back, whispering "I'm right here" over and over again to try to comfort her.

Max just felt empty inside, as if life just had no meaning or feeling anymore. The boy next to her was the only thing keeping her grounded to reality, the terrible reality where her brother was dead and she just stood there and watched and did nothing to save him. She didn't want to go back home. She didn't want to go home and have to watch her parent's faces drop in the shocking news about the mall fire. She didn't want to go back home where Neil would be angry and there'd be grieving and anger and a funeral and- "Hey." Lucas's voice brought her back into the present as she stared downwards. "We can go home. You're staying with me, okay?" He said softly, gently shaking her shoulder. She barely nodded, reluctantly getting off of the ambulance.

The ride home was hectic, with Lucas's parents asking all sorts of questions and Erica snapping back as usual, and everyone asking if she was okay and the overwhelming feeling to just open the car door
and jump out. But the Sinclair car finally turned a corner, and pulled into the driveway on Maple Street. Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair called Max's parents, letting them know what happened, after questioning Erica about why she went missing for over 24 hours and was found in a burning mall. Lucas grasped Max's hand tightly, opening the front door and taking her upstairs. He followed her into his room as she sat on the bed, staring blankly.

"Max?" He sat next to her, closing the door. She shook her head as the tears threatening to come out burned her throat. She didn't feel like fighting them back anymore, because she was so tired and all she wanted was her brother back and Lucas's comfort.

"Hey," He said softly as her tears multiplied. "Come here" He pulled her into his arms as she clung to him tightly, wanting nothing more than for this all to be a dream. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently. She was silent for several moments and he was afraid he asked too soon. "A-all I did was s-stand there." She whispered, putting her head in her hands. "Max it wasn't your fault." Lucas tried to remind her, even if she would never believe it. "No, i-it is." She wiped her tears as he pulled her closer to him. "You can't blame yourself for this," He whispered, grasping her hand tightly in an effort to comfort her. Lucas got up from the bed, walking to his dresser as Max looked at him, confused. He pulled out one of his sweatshirts and tossed it to her.
"Thanks." She said quietly as he gave her a reassuring smile and left the room so she could change.

Lucas came back in momentarily to see her laying on her side, tears once again staining her cheeks. "Max," he walked quickly to the bed, taking her hand in his, moving his thumb back and forth to provide some source of comfort. She didn't say anything, just silently mourning the loss of her step-brother. She was deep in thought about ways she could have saved Billy, or at least not have been so useless, until she felt a pair of hands wrap around her waist from behind. Lucas pulled her flush against him, resting his head on her shoulder and embracing her tightly as she cried, immensely thankful he was there.

"I'm so sorry." He said quietly. She sighed sadly, pulling him closer to her as if he could take away all the pain and sorrow. "He's r-really gone," She brokenly whispered. "I know, I know," He rubbed her back, kissing her temple. "I'm right here." She heard him say as her eyelids felt heavier. She nodded in response; that was all she needed. He turned out the lamp, facing her and holding her tightly, looking into her broken eyes. "I-I love you." He whispered, brushing a tear from her cheek, keeping his hand there. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. "I know." She murmured, finally giving in to the temptation of sleep. He smiled at the reference and rested his head on hers, closing his eyes. But just before he slipped into unconsciousness, he heard her whisper into his neck. "Love you too, Stalker."
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