Lorkhan's Chosen: Dragonborn Male Reader x Skyrim Females

Chapter 10(electric boogaloo)

Sanguine: *hic* just a kissssss~

Y/n: *drunk* noooo~ I want to save until marriage~

Sanguine: then let's get married then~

Y/n: no! Because I married the hag, I am a good faithful man *hic*

Sanguine: well she was pretty hot for a hag.

Y/n: she was a gilf *hic*

Sanguine: am I a Gilf~

Y/n: nah your an angel!

Sanguine giggles and blushes as she goes to kiss you.

*slap*

Mara: back off bitch!

Sanguine: oh you wanna go! Square up motherfucka!!!!!!

Mara pulls the slipper out.

Sanguine: oh.....

Y/n: oh is that la chancla?

Sanguine: see you soon Y/n....

She vanishes and Mara looks at you with a very yandere motherly look.

Y/n: even when I am drunk I still see the red flags.

Mara goes to kiss you, but you dodge and use the amulet to send her back.

Y/n: finally safe.

Author: Don't try me

Y/n: who was that?

Silence....

Y/n: man i think the moonsugar has been doing wonders.... ANYWAY!

Y/n explores Skyrim and comes along a hooded lady.

???: Heya cutie~ want me to give you some information~

Y/n: No thanks Herma

Hermaeus Mora: GOD DAMMIT, WHATS A IMMORTAL DAEDRA GOTTA DO TO GET SOME DICK!!!!

Y/n: not be weird Herma

Hermaeus Mora disappears in a huff of smoke.

Y/n: finally some alone time.

—————

Y/n: ahhhh~ back home
He walks in to see valerica, Serana and Lydia in Aprons without the clothes.

Y/n: sweet mother of Mara.

Valerica: hello honey~

Serana: Sup handsome~

Lydia: they forced me into this....

Y/n: *whisper* I must be strong... I held of from sex for hundreds of years I can survive this, actually I am still a virgin.... I didn't do it with Amalexia, I haven't even masturbated before.......

Serana: what's the hold up~

Y/n: *praying* oh Heavenly Father, the son and the Holy Spirit please give me strength....

Valerica: maybe you need a massage~

Y/n: actually that doesn't sound that bad- wait.

The three girls begin touching you all over.

Y/n: WAIT!!!! WAIT!!!!

Valerica: yes~?

Y/n: goodbye.

—————

Y/n rummages through the forest going to falkreath then a guard approached him.

Guard: Excuse me sir have you seen a dog around here?

Y/n: no I haven't

Guard: that's a shame, the blacksmith is offering a reward for it, welcome to falkreath don't cause any trouble.

Y/n: you got it sir

Y/n decides to go back on the road to look for the dog.

Barnabus: Y/n! I missed you bro!

Y/n:Barney? Your the dog?

Barnabus: yeah... my boss kicked me out because she tried to convince me not to throw figurines of you away...

Y/n: Wha?

Barnabus: nothing bro, anyway she kicked me out, I bet she's on her period again.

Y/n: I didn't know Daedra have periods?

Barnabus: they happen like every 100 years

Y/n: oh, you need my help do you?

Barnabus: yes please

Y/n: lead the way.

—————

Y/n: damn those were a bunch of vampires

Barnabus: they weren't there before I swear

Y/n walks to the statue "Clavicus! I know your there"

Clavicus Vile: Oh Y/n my dear finally will except the deal to be my stay at home house husband?

Y/n: no I am here because of Barnabus

Clavicus Vile: oh that mutt, tell him I want nothing to do with him! Even though my powers are cut in half... but you Y/n could make it worth it if you join me~

Y/n: nah

Clavicus Vile: if you get a-

Y/n throws the axe at the alter.

Clavicus Vile: ....Dang it.....

Y/n: just take Barnabus back, and no I ain't killing him

Clavicus Vile: Awwwww, you get my Masque then, make sure to wear it and think of me~ Barnabus! Bring your bitchass back!

Barnabus: thanks Y/n

Y/n: you got it

—————

Y/n teleports somewhere...

Y/n: where the shit am I?

Khorne: 👁👄👁

Y/n: 🗿

Khorne: Later bro, the warhammer stories coming... and I totally will be female because the Authors are degenerate

Y/n: I know

—————

Y/n: ahhhh back home again

Serana: I am bored...

Y/n: well your house sitting because I don't trust Lydia or your mum with the house

Valerica: hey!

—————

You go to Riften jail because you feel like it.

Y/n: wait.... INIGO!

Inigo: Finally! Kill me!

Y/n: wut.