Savior of Pan and Magic (Peter Pan OUAT)

Chapter 18 The Heart

Autumn POV

After I recover my memories it's like my whole world is crumbling apart. What am I? am I just a shadow, an echo of her. I don't know what hurts the most, my mom only loving because she sees another person or that she let go of me in order to save herself. Maybe I would understand her if she did that in order to protect me from her enemies. Now she wants me back because I have use to her now.

I always feel a hole in me and now I know why, all those memories. I am in more pain than ever, knowing the ugly truth. I don't feel like I have a hole, I feel like there's nothing left in me to put a hole through. I'm just one big void, floating around without an anchor.

I look around the camp, everyone is busy but everything is block out from me. The edges of my vision are hazy and the sounds are mix together, making it like I'm hearing unclear voices. Someone is shaking me, it's my father and his lips are moving but I can't make out what he's saying. "what" I tried to say or what I think I'm trying to say.

Someone else appears in my vision, it's Fabian, and he's giving a cup of water. The moment he passes it in my hand, I drop it. Pan came to my father and he's angry, they're arguing about something that I can't understand just jumbled voices. What are they bickering about? Pan points at me and my father looks at me, then he nodded at Pan. Looks like whatever they're fighting about, Pan wins.

Pan is leading me to a cabin, we went inside. He's trying to talk to me but I can't figure him out. He starts snapping his fingers in front of my face. He's just doing it again and again. I hear a faint snapping sound and I try concentrating to his fingers until I hear steady snapping sound and everything becomes clear. I suddenly gasp.

"can you hear me now?" Pan asks me

"what happened?"

"for a while you just shut down there, you're not responding to anything" he guides me to the bed and I lay down "you need some sleep"

"will you stay with me?"

"I need keep the camp safe so you will be safe"

"but I feel safe when I'm with you" I need him now more than ever "stay, just until I fall asleep"

"okay" he lay down beside me and he puts his arms around me, keeping me safe.

"what's bugging you?" he kisses my forehead

"I don't even know what am I, am I just an echo of Adara? She just loves me because she sees her in me. I'm nobody"

"no, you're not. You're Autumn, I love you for who you are. I don't care what you are, where you came from because I only care is you. Your father loves you, you have whole family here in this island and you have also family in that ship"

I smile at that, but there's still more "it doesn't feel right calling her Amelia but I don't want to call her mom. Knowing my past, it's like I've change into another person"

Pan looks at me "yes, people change, no one ever stays the same but you can't just change overnight just because knowing about your past. You're still you, you're still the person I fell in love with. Yes, you change but in a good way. Knowing what you are doesn't change the fact that I love you, that your father loves you, we will still keep loving you because you're you" he kisses my forehead again "now sleep and rest your mind"

I just nodded. I just realize that Pan told me many times that he loves me but I never said it back to him. I love him, he's an important part of me without him I will be drowning. He lifts me up, he never drags me down not even once.

My first kiss, it's like both our lips are puzzle pieces that fits perfectly just like us, we fit perfectly. I think every person is a puzzle piece, we need to find those that perfectly fits with us. There are times that we thought that we perfectly fit with someone but it's not. Maybe you do perfectly fit but you never make the same image. We all have to find those who fit in our lives and those we make the same picture. And I hope Pan and I just don't perfectly fit but also making the same picture.