stay with me. ||copia x Trans male/ masc reader||

chapter 8 .TW.

Y/n pov:

I worried as he wanted to stay alone and isolate himself.

Not that he isn't allowed to be alone, I just deeply care about his wellbeing.

I go to my room and sat for a bit. I keep over thinking.
"Hes fine..hes just tired.." I said to myself. Although, my gut was telling me the opposite.

"Hes getting bad again"
"It's gonna be worse than before."
"Hes depressed again"

I try my best to shrug it off. I end up going to YouTube to take my mind off it.

Papas pov:

I sat in my room for a little. I caved and opened the bottle of whisky. I poured a glass and downed it. It burned my throat so good. I couldn't get enough.
I sigh realising what I'm doing.
"Welp I'm already in it..might aswell go forward..." I sigh.

I continue to drink. It felt so good. I couldn't get enough of how it felt. How it felt to finally stress about nothing. All my stresses, my worries, everything just sunk within every sip. I know this is wrong but it was only the once right?

I continued to drink. becoming more intoxicated with each glass.

I remember the blades I had bought. No..I can't do that again..I've been clean for over a year..

The urges kept getting stronger. I gulped more alcohol to try drown it. It didn't work. I put the box of blades and bandages in my pocket then stand and stumble out the room. I see y/n.

Im very irritable when Im drunk. So that's not very good..

"Papa..sweet satan your shit faced on alcohol.." he sighs.

"I thought you were better than this." He said woth a certian hurt in his voice I'll never forget. My drunken self on the other hand, my stupid drunken self said, "why should you care. Get out of my face..". I slurred my speech. I couldn't even speak properly. "Sorry...what?" He said looking dumbfounded by what I said. "I said get out of my face!" I shouted pissed. I don't even know what I was mad at. I guess I was mad at myself. "Im just trying to help you-" I cut him off. "Oh so you finally decide to help huh? It's always me helping you oh poor y/n..what a shame he's been through SOO much..hoe about living in my shows for a day huh!? I'd like to see you try survive ONE DAY IN MY SHOES." I blow up. I regretted what I said, but I was too far in to stop now. "So you're trying to be a fucking Saint and ask if I'm okay for once in your pathetic little life? You're nothing but a pawn in my game.." I growled. I had gotten close to him. Really close. I felt like I was trapped in someone else's body. He ran off crying. "Yeah you fuck off!" I shouted. I went back to my room regretfully. I grabbed the blades brom my pocket. I can't do this anymore. I relapsed in drinking and cutting. Fuck. I went quite deep and lost alot of blood. After a while I finish. My whole arm was cut up and bleeding profusely. I stand up but I was even dizzier than before. I collapse and crash into the wall trying to stand up. I hold onto the wall, getting blood on it. I try to keep myself up.

Y/ns pov:

(Just before papa went to his room) I ran to my room crying. What have I done wrong..? I just wanted to help him. I wanted to be there for him. I Bury my face in my pillows and sob for a while. I felt my eyes hurt. He didn't even come to say sorry. Ugh I don't know why I'm even upset about that. What about him? And how he feels? What led him to this?

I sit for a while. I realise my nose started bleeding from the pressure and how hard I was crying. I was still hyperventilating uncontrollably. I grab a tissue to stop my nose from bleeding. I collect myself as the bleeding stopped.

I walk back to where copia was. He's gone. I knock on his door. "Papa..?" I say, I hear struggling. My stomach turned. "I-im coming in!" I burst open the door to see him on the floor bleeding. And in shock.

"Fuck.." I hear him groan. "I quickly grabbed alcohol wipes and the bandages he bought as they were on the floor.

"I'm sorry I left you alone I shouldn't have left you alone I should've stayed with you..its my fault. I should've chose better words back there I..-" I sobbed again while stopping the bleeding, cleaning him up and bandaging him. He was silent. I heard he was crying.

"I-it's not too ..tight is it..?" I sniffle while trying to collect myself. "N-no it's fine.." he said painfully. "Cmere.." I gesture him to come over. I hug him tight as if it were the last hug I'd ever give him. "Im so sorry you feel like you needed to do this...im so fucking sorry.." I say welling up again. "Im sorry for drinking myself stupid and relapsing both ways I'm sorry I thought I was getting better.." he slurred his words. He was hurt badly. "Please for the love of satan.. stay here with me..I dont want to be alone..I lied..I need you more than ever.." he whimpered into my shoulder while bawling. "Of course I'll stay here with you papa.." I promised to him. "P..promise..?" He starts to collect himself. "Ofcourse.. and no more alcohol for you.." I say. "Fuck..I dont know what I'd do without you..I'd probably be dead..im so sorry about earlier..I dont know what came over me..im so so fucking sorry.." I apologise over and over again. "Please it's okay.." he comforted.
"You'll stay with me forever..right? I couldn't handle losing you.." I say, still drunk. "Ofcourse.. I'll do what it takes to keep us together.. After all..im lost without you.." he says referencing cirice. "Haha I see what you did there.." I said trying to make light of a real bad situation.

"With how much you drank..you should probably make yourself throw up..I dont want you getting alcohol poisoning.." he says. I hate throwing up but god I don't want to get poisoned.. "Yeah.. I'll go to the bathroom and do that." I say.

I go and made myself throw up all the alcohol.

Y/n pov:

I rubbed his back as he hurled atleast a whole bottles worth of alcohol up. "There there..get it all out.." I comforted, knowing he hated throwing up alot.

He finished and we got into his bed.

I decide to put something on his TV and we watched something together as we dozed off cuddling eachother, his head on my chest. I played with his hair the whole time as I know he liked that, it made him feel comforted when I did that.

Finally, after a while, I fell asleep, still holding onto him.