Might As Well Be On Mars // Motley Crue

Out for Blood

"Nikki, why don't we go outside? Please?"

Nikki stared into the main room of the apartment for a bit longer, taking huffing breaths. Finally, he agreed to be led outside.

They went downstairs and stood outside the apartment building. Evie tried to think of something to say that wouldn't make Nikki explode. Nikki kept seething, replaying what he had seen over and over again in his head.

"Don't ever let Tommy talk to you again," Nikki said.

Evie laughed. "Don't talk to Tommy again? Honey, he's in your band. I see him, like, once a week. I can't not talk to him."

"Don't fucking laugh at me."

His anger made Evie flinch. She took a deep breath and made her voice calm. "You don't have to worry about Tommy or anyone else talking to me. You're really high right now, and it's messing with your head. Why don't we just go home and go to sleep? When you wake up, you'll see the situation more clearly."

"You want me to go home and go to sleep? You want me to go to sleep so you can invite over Tommy and god knows who else and let them fuck you? Is that what it is? If you want to fuck my friends, just say it."

Evie's patience was running out. She hated it enough when he just got high, but when he was so high that he started accusing her of things and making irrational assumptions? She knew that what she was about to say was only going to make things worse, but she couldn't stop herself from saying it.

"Stop it, Nikki! You don't get to drink all night and put enough drugs in your system to kill a ten year old, then act like I'm the problem! Especially when you have the balls to accuse me of cheating, when you're the one who entertains dozens of girls at every single one of your shows and every single one of your parties!"

Nikki glared at her for a few seconds, saying nothing. Then, "Is that what you think of me? Just a fucking druggy and a cheater? Am I too good for a prissy little princess like you? You can do no wrong, but I'm just some paranoid addict who should feel blessed to be accepted into your presence? Is that what it is?"

That was it, Evie realized. This wasn't actually about her conversation with Tommy. Just like she had her complaints about Nikki's behavior, and just like she had insecurities that she tried to hide, Nikki had his own complaints and doubts. They had been simmering under the surface for weeks, and now they were erupting.

Evie began to cry. She knew she wasn't perfect. Nobody's perfect. But it broke her heart to hear that Nikki thought she acted like a nagging "prissy little princess," just like she thought he sometimes acted like a paranoid addict. She felt embarrassed, and wondered if Nikki truly thought that about her.

It broke her heart even more when she looked back up at Nikki and only saw hatred on his face. He wasn't going to comfort her or apologize. She wondered if this was the end.

"I want to go home," Evie said, looking down at the ground.

"Answer my question," Nikki yelled. "Do you think I'm a fucking addict?"

Shaking, Evie said, "I think you have a problem. I want you to get help, but sometimes I think you don't want help."

It was not the response Nikki wanted. All this time, Evie saw him as nothing but a bum. He didn't know why he was so surprised; he could see it in the way she looked at him when he was intoxicated. Her face was always full of fear and contempt. And now that he was confronting her about it, she was acting like she was better than him; that he needed "help," but she didn't.

"Why don't we go home?" Evie asked. "We'll talk about this more in the morning."

She reached for his arm, but he pulled it away. "No," he refused to look at her. He didn't want her to manipulate him with her pleading eyes.

"Fine," she said. "I'm...I'm gonna go home. And when you decide to come back, we can talk this over, okay?"

There she was with the condescension again. Nikki shook his head in disgust, and walked away, leaving Evie alone on the sidewalk.

Evie stood there a while longer, sobbing and ignoring the stares of passersby. When she calmed down enough to see clearly, she walked the two blocks to the nearest payphone. She put a quarter in, called her father, and gave him the address.

On the ride home, she cried while recounting the events of the night-- from the way Nikki had forgotten about her when people came up to him, to his jealous outrage, and finally, the way he yelled at her outside the building.

Mick listened without saying much. On the one hand, he hated to see his daughter so hurt, and he was pissed at Nikki for putting her through this heartbreak. But on the other hand, Mick could tell their relationship was nearing the end of the line. And the shorter the relationship, the easier it would be for her to move on.

When they got home, they watched an action movie on the TV for a while. When it ended, Evie wanted to stay up and wait for Nikki, but Mick convinced her to go to bed.

Sleep didn't come easily for either of them.