𝐌𝐢𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐳. Even being born right next to the cruel and sick crime life never changed the charismatic and positive Mia who wanted to help change the messy world she formed part off.
Becoming a nurse at the age of 25 and joining her d...
"Carlos?" I try once again my voice barely over a whisper.
"Nothing happened, everything is still as fucking messy as it was before." He admits now focusing only on my eyes, a small smile appearing on his lips.
"You went to see Nathan, why?" I ask trying to continue the conversation but at the same time tame the way his eyes on me are making me feel.
"You are so beautiful, you know that right?" His hand goes up to my cheek and I look down at it. Confused about the sudden change of theme. "And your eyes, every time I look at them, they feel like home."
I want to say something but I don't because I simply don't know what to say, the situation feeling surrealistic. A minute ago he was breaking down to pieces in my arms and now he is smiling. Now he is looking at me as if I were the most precious thing he has ever laid his eyes on.
"I shouldn't have left, not without telling you where I was going but when I looked at you and saw the fear in your eyes I got scared. Knowing that I caused that it- it was killing me." He says slowly his thumb still caressing my cheek in small circles.
"So I ran away because apparently, that's the only thing I know how to do. I lose control and suddenly all I want to do is hide." The ache in my chest grows with every word he says, and the look on his face, the pain in his voice makes it so difficult to stay put, to stay strong.
But I try. For him.
"You don't have to run or hide, not from me." My words come out this time barely a whisper. One he probably wouldn't be able to hear if he weren't just a few inches away from me and getting closer.
"I know... you should be the one running from me." He whispers back, the small smile that adorned his face now gone and the atmosphere between us changing in a matter of milliseconds.
"Carlos-" I try to say something, however, I don't get to finish because suddenly his lips are on mine. His hand gripping my hair from behind and bringing me closer to him.
The kiss is slow yet passionate. His hands travel through my body taking in every curve and inch. And this time there's something that feels completely different from any other kiss we have shared in the past, a new emotion.
Desperation.
This makes me go back to how once again it feels as if he were trying to engrave this into his brain, from the feeling of my body against his to the warmth of my lips over his own...
"I need you." He stops kissing me, giving me time to decide whether I want this or not.
And I know I should listen to my brain telling me that this is an awful idea and say no, that I should try and make him talk to me instead of allowing him to hide by using sex but at the same time, I also want to hide, act as if nothing happened, forget about everything and just feel him. So for that reason alone instead of moving away I just nod and lay down on the bed.
Giving myself to him.
He loses no time in undressing me, carefully removing every item of clothing standing in his way from feeling my naked body, and as he does that I unbutton his shirt needing to run my fingers down his back. And once we are both fully naked his mouth starts leaving slow kisses everywhere, from my neck to my inner thighs. The slight stubble he is now carrying burns my skin in the best way imaginable.
Each kiss feels like torture, and not only a physical one but an emotional one too. My heart pumps inside my chest so fast that I think I might pass out and his touch brings back every emotion I was trying so hard to suppress.
And I know I should stop this but instead, I find myself desperately begging, "Please..." my voice breaks as my nails dig into his back. Clawing into something to try and keep myself from losing it.
He obeys, moving his way up my body and taking my face between his hands to look directly at me. And as much as I wish I could I can't figure out what the look on his face means but I do get to feel it. Everything becomes too much, his touch, his smell, his presence, it makes looking at him so incredibly painful but as much as it hurts I can't let go so that's why I push him down closer, making him kiss my neck as he slowly enters me.
And the feeling of him inside me is what makes me break at last. Before I know it silent tears start streaming down my face. But he can't tell, if he could he would have stopped. Which is exactly the opposite of what I wanted or needed, so instead of saying something I just hug him.
Not allowing him to look at me as he keeps on fucking me, panting and moaning...
While I just cry.
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Author's note
As always if you are here ty for reading and don't forget to vote and comment your thoughts!
First of all sorry for taking so long, university was getting too much, specially one subject but I passed (got the mark today I didn't expect it so im so happy)!!!
And then sorry again for the pain that just keeps coming... this chapter was supposed to go in a slightly different direction but while writing it kept moving in this direction and I understood this was how it was supposed to be.
And if once again someone is thinking that them having sex was wrong, I know. They know. That's the idea. I promise everything I'm writing is part of plan. Even if sometimes it changes a little to fit better.
With that said, I have read comments about how Carlos is toxic and others (less) about how Mia also fucked up and usually these kind of comments would suck lol but with this story this is exactly what I wanted. I'm aware about the toxicity of this situation, this is exactly what I meant to portray and honestly it makes me proud that I was able to do this the way I wanted it. But even if they both made mistakes we can't forget about what Carlos went through and that Mia is literally just 25 (also her past). They aren't perfect so please remember that when reading and also that this is dark romance! It isn't pretty but that's the point.
Also I thought I would be able to wrap this up in like 10 chapters but I wont lol. Once again I underestimated how much stuff there's left lol so it will be a little longer. I'm honestly worried it's getting too long, hope you all dont mind. I should have made this story in two books.
Thanks again tiloveswriting for your help writing this <3
