The Devil's Redemption | ✓

|79| The broken

The moment the door opens his eyes are already on me, that same mixture of broken emotions from before still in them, but this time there is one more. Despair.

Before I knew it I'd gotten up from the sofa and walked in his direction. He just watched me get closer while still standing by the door that was now closed. I'm not sure how many things went through my head in those few seconds it takes me to reach him but what I do know is that the moment I'm close enough I react in a way I would have never expected. Suddenly my hands are folded into fists that find their way into his chest, not to try and hurt him, there's no force to my punches just utter and pure frustration that apparently I didn't know how to let out but like this.

And to my surprise, he doesn't react, he doesn't move an inch, he just stands there taking every hit and letting me use his body as a personal punching bag, it's as if he knew that this is exactly what I need, as if he was expecting it and came in ready for this.

"How could you..." I choke on my words wanting to ask him how could he leave me once again but I wasn't able to complete my sentence.

"I'm sorry, Mia. I'm so sorry." He finally speaks his arms going around my body and instead of pushing me back, he's pulling me hard against his body. Hugging me as tight as he can while I try to fight him off.

"No, let me go," I mutter against his body. My fits pressing tightly against his chest.

This wasn't me denying his comfort, because his comfort is exactly what I need. More than anything. But all of this, it's too overwhelming and I know that if I let him take me into his arms I will break down into tears, and right now it's the last thing we need.

So I keep fighting him, I keep trying to move away from him, or at least I do until I hear soft cries, cries that aren't mine but his...

Then, I stop, because I understand that he isn't trying to help me get my frustration out anymore, now he is simply begging me to allow him to use my body to get his out. Though for him it doesn't come as hits or punches, it comes as an embrace.

"I'm so sorry..." his voice is the one to falter now, interrupted by his low painful sobs. Sobs that I wouldn't be able to hear if his face wasn't buried against my neck.

From the outside you can't tell he is the one breaking down, it looks as if he is comforting me while I cry, not the other way around. And maybe that should bother me but it doesn't because all I can focus on is the raw pain in his voice, the shakiness of his breathing against my skin, and all I can see is a man who was never allowed to let himself break, who was never taught that you aren't less capable or strong for allowing yourself to feel.

So I stay there, between his arms as I look at Rick that is now next to us, giving him a nod and telling him that we will be fine and that he can go while Carlos keeps hugging me tighter and tighter every second that goes by, using my neck to muffle his cries that also get louder by every passing moment.

And those cries, they feel as if he had dived his hand right inside my chest and pulled my heart out to crash it inside his palm.

"Let's get you to bed," I whisper against his chest after a little while of just standing there.

He answers by slightly letting go of me and allowing me to guide him into the room. I have to look down at the floor for the whole time fighting back my tears and once we get there we both sit down on the bed. Breathing in deeply I finally look at him and find that his stare, opposite to mine hadn't left me since the moment he arrived. His blue eyes looked brighter than usual probably caused by the tears filling his eyes.

"What happened?" I'm the one to ask, looking for an explanation as to why he left to hide once again.

But I don't get an answer, instead, he just keeps staring at me. His eyes go through my every feature, from my eyes to my mouth, to my nose and hair. It's almost as if he were making a mental note of how I look, studying every little detail in case it is the last time he'll see it.