Desire's & Fate

Chapter 8

"I am going out of my mind here," he said and I've never heard him sound that way.

"Pregnant, hmm." I was expecting a lot but uh this caught me by surprise. This wasn't...

"How far along?" I find myself asking.

"Are you okay baby," he asked on his knees between my thighs.

"She's having your baby, how far along?" I asked and knew I needed to move but the way I felt light I didn't want to risk falling over.

"Fifteen weeks," he said quietly taking in my face, I took in a deep breath but it didn't pass my throat.

"Then I guess it's settled then," I said and stood moving away from him and he didn't bother to follow.

"What is?" he asked.

"This," I point between us. "You should do right by her," I said past the lump in my throat and the throb in my heart.

"Look Sibel, Fiona and I do not want each other romantically..."

"But enough to make a baby," I cut him off.

"I think you should..." I swallowed.

"That's the thing you're thinking too much baby. Fiona and I are doing this by the books. We both want it that way. There's nothing between us besides the sex and..."

I humorless laugh tore out of my throat and I sat down. He must be shitting me.

"Okay... this is all coming out wrong. Please listen to me," he tried to explain. He reached over for my hand and I snatched it away.

"Please, baby," he said.

"Please?" I asked head tilted at him.

"Fiona and I... you're sisters, we are very good friends."

"That fuck each other apparently."

"Please listen to me, baby. Please?"

"Make it make sense to me Ryon," I fold my arms replaying each word that was a pain in my heart.

"I've never meant to hurt you, baby. Please believe that. Please know that no matter what happened here tonight. Baby know that I love you."

"Love?" I whispered the word I thought would change my life forever. Apparently, I couldn't be more wrong. Or was I right, I was changing my life...

"Baby, I'm sorry. I mean it, I never meant to hurt you. I've never slept with Sukora and Satina, I've been sleeping with Fiona since we were in high school and it's all it's ever been until..."

"A baby," I said cutting him off. "It's what happens when people fuck," I said.

"Please stop that," he whispered.

"You want me to sit here and smiled and be the good little Sibel who always does the right thing. You want me to stroke your ego and tell you a step further that we should be together and none of this matters to me. That love will conquer it all like a great love song but one of us has to act sensible here. And since it not going to be you then I have to... I."

"Sib...” he began to stop me but I raised my hand. ”Hear me out Ryon,” I said.

”I am not the type of girl to accept this and just be good with it. I would be a mess half the time with far less and you're not the type of man to secure me beyond reasonable doubt that you're not going to keep wanting Fiona. A fling here and there but a baby and its responsibilities would send me crazy if I had to constantly think of all the what-ifs. We have both known each other long enough to know we aren't those people and this is a waste of our time."

I took a breath, "you should do right by your baby, and whatever decision you and Fiona made." I was no longer hurt, I was numb trying to ignore the dead feeling in my body.

Ryon sat quietly for a while, he didn't say anything. Then his hand came up to his face and he squeeze the bridge of his nose with his long index finger and thumb. He nodded and my heart sank to the pit of my stomach.

"What will it take? what can I do to convince you? I want you so bad, I want you to be mine Sibel. Please tell me what will it take."

"Nothing," I whispered.

"Nothing at all," his voice was quiet and it seemed so final.

"No," I repeated.

I stood and he did the same watching my movements. "I'm sorry baby, I never meant to hurt you," he said quietly. Ryon opened his arms and I stepped back. I couldn't...

"Just a hug," he said and I hesitated. "I'll go," he murmured and I stepped into his arms. He buried his head in my hair and inhaled.

"I swear... I'm never going to give up on us baby. I did that before and here I am losing my soul. I will convince you and I will fight for your love. I'm never giving up on you Sibel," he said arms tight around me, and tears streamed down my face.

I let go and he headed for the door. I wanted to stop him, take him in my arms but I knew I couldn't... But I could feel and I felt my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

It was over...