I hit 300 pages for this story with this chapter lol
I've really been wanting to update but I can be a perfectionist y'all, that's why I haven't updated anything else in a LONG time.
See you on the weekend. I'll be updating something else. Not sure what yet. K, byyyeee!
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♠CHRIS♠
I woke up not knowing where I was with flashes of the night before at the front of my mind. My body felt tight but light at the same time, and my head spun. I glanced to the side to see the sunlight peeking through the edges of my dark curtains.
I squinted through heavy eyes at the red numbers glaring at me from the bedside table. I sat up despite the heavy feeling in my body, trying to make sense of the numbers. It was past eleven.
My hands ran down my body—my clothes from the night before—then back up to cover my face. The fact that I missed my regular nightly and morning routine made me feel a thousand times crappier.
Blurred memories from the night before bombarded their way through the fog in my brain. I was still trying to figure out how I got home but all I could focus on were glimpses of her. Her smile. Her hand in mine, on my face- her voice.
And someone else.
Cursing, I sat up and clutched my head. I wanted to scream.
"Of all the times to get high, you idiot," I murmured to myself.
None of us knew Ariana would've shown up last night (except Thion) or I wouldn't have done what I did. I wasn't like anything untoward would've happened between us either way, I didn't think so, but I would've liked to be sober when I saw her again, at least. Last night shouldn't have happened. Not like that. Not with her.
She probably thought I wandered the city like that often. I didn't. It was one stupid night to help me relax and get me out of work mode for a little bit. To add salt to wound, it was the worst trip I'd ever been on. Usually, I knew when to stop, but last night—after she and Thion left...
While the pieces of the night fit themselves back together in my head, I constantly cringed and shook my head at myself. I knew I was an affectionate, blabbering, clingy drunk, but being crossed took it to another level.
I was all over her.
The groan that came out of me was loud enough for anyone within a mile to feel my regret and shame. I wanted to throw up at the thought of me forcing myself into her space after she'd told me what she wanted. That hadn't included me in her life—not entirely. I wasn't mad about it. I was angry with myself because I got high and overlooked her boundaries. We'd been okay—we'd been more than okay these past months. Our conversations were short, to the point, but nice. We checked in on each other. Things had been perfect between us.
I might've messed it all up.
Even though she was smiling in some of the flashes in my head, that didn't mean she was one hundred percent comfortable. I wouldn't force myself on her in a horrible way, I knew that, but it was still too much. Too much for us because that's not what we were anymore.
Yes, what Ari and I had ran deep, deeper than anything I'd ever felt in my very short life, but we were over. Weren't we? The past was the past. I still cared for her and respected her wishes. I never wanted her to think or feel otherwise. So last night might've come off as the opposite. I hated myself for it.
I needed to apologize. I didn't have her number—which was probably a good thing—but I knew someone who did. If I had to steal his phone, I would.
Dragging myself out of bed, I headed to my bathroom with my head heavy on my shoulders and a horrible hangover.
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