Loving Kinnick (Rewritten 2023)

Chapter Fourteen

 People said I live too fast, and they call it a coping mechanism, but they never understand. Perhaps I'm trying to die sooner rather than later. Maybe if I slow down, I'll start thinking about the things that hurt, and I cannot do that. So, I wake up earlier than my dad to avoid seeing the same disappointment that's overcome his features since 2017 and I move on like nothing happened last night.

 Somehow telling Kinnick I arrived at the campus earlier than usual made him come searching for me in the library. He awaited my arrival with blueberry muffins and textbooks for studying. He said this was to reassure us we would pass our tests, so it confused me why I was the only one studying. Until he said if he chose the spot next to me in class, he would pass too.

 Kinnick didn't need to copy my test. He just loved to tease me and joke around whenever he found a chance to. He didn't give himself enough credit. Miles told me he earned a scholarship for his academics in high school. When he opened his textbooks, I saw the highlighted passages and sticky notes marking the places in his novels. He paid attention to every detail. People never saw it, though. Not unless they were paying attention.

Now I am watching his blue eyes catch fire in the morning sun as he read from the book he struggled to put down since he opened it. He read with so much passion that would leave anyone wishing they were the pages his fingers caressed and words his gaze devoured.

 If he were to open my cover, would he read it without letting the synopsis decide if I was worthy of his time? Or would he look over the summary and judge me based on the brief paragraph before him without giving me the chance to explain why I am the way I am?

 Perhaps I could be his escape from the world. He would spread my pages and find comfort in the middle. Maybe he wouldn't. If not, I would sit on the shelf and wait for the next set of curious fingers to caress my binding until I trusted them enough to open up. My story might not be a bestseller, but that doesn't mean it isn't worth reading.

 "What book is that?" He held up the novel with an all too familiar cover. "Wait! How did you get my copy?"

 He placed his elbows on the table to lean closer. "How are you sure it is your copy?"

 "Because the front cover is taped."

 "Maybe I dropped it."

 "Yeah, right," I rolled my eyes. "Let me see it."

 "What are the tally marks for?" I watched him run his finger over the inside. "Is this how many times you read it?"

 My mom recorded how many times she read a book by marking it on the front cover. After reading each book for the first time, she would gift it to me with the same note on the first page, love mom. I remember reading the Stephen King novel for the first time and nearly dropping it into the bathtub. Unfortunately, catching it ripped the cover. My mom was all too familiar with taping the front covers back together from incidents similar to mine.

 "My mom used to do it, so I started copying her."

 "Are some of these hers?"

 I hummed softly in confirmation. "She would thoroughly read every book she gifted me to ensure that we would have endless discussions about what happened."

 "Do you miss doing that?"

 I could feel the frown deepening on my forehead. "Why do you want to know?"

 "Is it not obvious that I want to know you better?"

 "Yes, but why?" My head moved back and forth. "You hate everybody."

 "Why wouldn't I hate everybody?"

 He nodded toward the group of students watching us through the gaps in the bookshelves. Their eyes held judgment, but if they had something to say, it never came out. I wasn't sure if they were afraid of confrontation or Kinnick. Either way, they stared until we did. Then their gazes dropped to the books as if they had been searching for them the whole time.

 I couldn't help but notice how they whispered his name. I wanted to believe people wouldn't be as rude as they portrayed, but the more their eyes flickered up to look at us, the more I realized it was true.

 "Don't you have something better to do?"

 I snapped with anger in my heart. I immediately felt the shaking of my hands begin. I am not one to call somebody out because it isn't any of my business, or I am afraid, but at the moment, it felt right. I'm sure Kinnick can stick up for himself, but for whatever reason he has, he never did.

 "Did you say something?" A boy spoke up.

 "Bo," Kinnick grabbed my shoulder, warning me to stop.

 "Yeah," I shrugged the tattooed boxer's hand from my arm. "Do you not have anything better to do?"

 "Mind your business."

 "Then I suggest you do the same."

 "Excuse me?"

 And it was like he became oblivious to the man who sat beside me because when the blonde-haired boy began moving in my direction, Kinnick pushed away from his seat. I watched the boy coward back as his eyes flickered between me and the boxer. After walking away, I turned to find the blue-eyed boy staring at me with amusement.

 "I was trying to get into my first fight." I rolled my eyes. "You ruined my experience of being a boxer."

 He nodded, brushing his chin. "Well, you were intimidating. I mean, I was shaking."

 "Really?"

 "No," his lips moved in a thin smile. "We will work on it."

 "I could have handled it."

 "I know." He brushed a curl from my face. "I won't let you, though."