Operation 007 (SpyxFamily)

Ch. 14: Part Three

He risked a glance at her, catching her doing the same.

Their eyes flicked away and avoided contact. Yor snapped her head in the opposite direction to watch out the window.

Hands shaking, her mind rushed through unintelligible thoughts, unsorted and messy. Her heart, racing and tight at the same time. She wasn't sure what to think. How to feel. How to react. How to function. Her best kept secret was out in the open with Loid's and a swath of emotion towards him she couldn't begin to discern.

A mutual, dumbfounded inability to move forward.

The lack of sound or speech made them painfully conscious of the other's unsteady breaths and every nervous shift of their bodies.

The realization that the other was defending themselves, wanting to salvage what they had. Their lives with each other.

The pressing need to say something, the words impossible to find. The sensations, thick, and suffocating, leaving no air to resolve their thoughts and feelings out loud. They steeped in the awkward silence for a long stretch of time. Absorbing, thinking, processing. Giving them time for their heads to clear a bit, to consider how they felt.

The hush was broken as Loid drummed his fingers on the wheel and reached up to tweak the rearview mirror. He cleared his throat as he glanced to the side-view.

Glanced to Yor.

Drummed his fingers.

He had to say something. They weren't getting anywhere. He thought, as he made another check in the rearview, just to keep himself from looking to Yor again.

How did they even sort this through? How did he feel about this? Did he even care? It definitely freaked him out a bit! This was Yor! The sweetest person he'd ever met! She was still her, though. How did this happen?! How did she become an assassin? How did he end up with an assassin as a wife?! Did she care he was a spy? How would this affect his mission? Was she upset? He couldn't tell when he looked at her, just sitting there. Like a normal person who you couldn't guess killed people for a living.

He still wasn't sure this was real.

He couldn't help another shot at her. The woman fidgeting with her hands, gaze cast resolutely out the window. Afraid to further the conversation. Afraid that it would cause him to reject her. She had so many questions, though.

What exactly was his mission? Was she involved somehow? Was Anya? How did she end up married to a spy? Was Loid even his real name? Was she upset? Was he upset? How did they work this out? Or maybe they wouldn't. Could she trust him? She thought so. He's only ever been good to her. Did he trust her? She didn't think he hated her, he just said he'd never hurt her. It sounded like he wanted to make this work, too. He was so emphatic when he explained himself. If he could accept her, than she could accept him too. She was shocked more than upset. But she didn't even know where to begin. Surely he had questions, too. How did she bring this up? She wondered. If he didn't want reconciliation like she thought, she wouldn't know what to do next.

"I don't want you to leave." Loid beat her to the punch and spoke steadfastly, finally mustering up the willpower to break through the quiet. "I don't care if you're an assassin." He told her and he felt more together now. He peeked at her, worried she'd reject it. "If you can accept that I'm a spy, that is." He said, holding his breath. If she turned him down, everything was ruined. Anya would be devastated. The school, suspicious. His identity at risk. W.I.S.E. would want to know what happened.

When there was no answer, he turned to her, fearing her response.

But her face lifted, hope mixed with relief, and reached for his hand resting on the shift gears in both of hers. "I'd love nothing more!" She exclaimed and the tension was suddenly broken. Shattered with her words as the pressure dissipated and the heavy atmosphere lightened. Like a curse being lifted, they relaxed. Just Loid and Yor again as they always were. Comfortable in each other's presence, like it had never happened.

If it weren't for the awkward element that still held strong as Yor bashfully released his hand to stare at her own in her lap.

"Thank goodness." Loid's breath released, feeling like he'd avoided an international crises. And relaxed too quickly when it dawned on Yor to ask him a simple question. Her head raised to look at him.

"Does Anya know you're a spy?" She asked, catching him by surprise.

Loid almost answered, 'no', reflexively, but caught himself.

An inkling of doubt pierced at what he knew. A saw, cutting into his preconceptions the moment she asked. A part of him questioned it, the pieces that didn't fit together.

Anya knew things.

At the event. She knew it was him, but he had no explanation. Every theory was too insane to be true.

Tonight. She knew it was him and he didn't think to question it as he was occupied with Yor. The times he never thought twice about, when she acted in an odd way. Times that aligned with his thinking now that he reflected on it.

Yor waited for him to reply but he couldn't answer.

He didn't know.