In My Skin

CH 58 || Not Going Anywhere

Yeah, that definitely wasn't how I pictured our reunion either.

We fell into another silence.

My arms twitched. I wanted to touch him so badly... but I owed him an explanation first.

"Kel..."

He lifted his head, meeting my gaze.

"I... I know I should've handled it better, but whenever I get a flare like that, I don't know how to deal with it, and it feels like I'm losing my identity. Everything suddenly revolves around my skin. It makes me feel like a burden and insecure and I hate it.

"And you're, well, you. Sometimes that can be intimidating because you're so sure of everything. I don't expect things to just go back the way they were or anything, I just wanted to say I'm trying to do better. And I know my feelings." God, this was hard. "What I'm trying to say is..."

Killian watched me stumble over my words with a blank expression before he leaned toward me and said, "I know."

"You know what?" I asked confused.

His gaze softened. "I love you too."

My heart stopped. My breath stopped. Maybe the hit on my head was worse than I thought and now I was hallucinating.

"I-I didn't say anything yet," I finally said.

He gave me a disarming smile. "I know you do."

My voice rose. "How can you say you know when we didn't talk for over a month?"

"One month, two weeks, three days, and a few hours. Not that I'm counting. But you wouldn't have come back to me if you didn't."

"But—"

"And also, you already woke up two hours ago and told me the same thing just to pass out again."

"Can you stop being so self-satisfied?"

"No."

"Fine," I huffed. "I take it back then."

"Too late," he replied smugly. "It's engraved in my brain."

"It doesn't count if I don't remember. Therefore, I haven't said it yet."

Five minutes with this guy and we were already bickering. He had a knack for pushing my buttons.

"I love you," he whispered again, sending my pulse into a frenzy.

I had pushed him away over and over again and yet, he said it so easily as if there was no doubt in his mind. There probably wasn't which flashed me even more. How the hell had I landed this guy?

Acting all nonchalant as if he hadn't just made my insides dance tango, he leaned back. "See, now you can pretend I said it first."

"I don't believe you."

With a long sigh, he got up and dropped back into his chair. "Because you just want to argue with me, or is there actually a reason?"

I eyed the distance between us. "Because...I didn't get a hug yet."

He froze. "You're hurt."

"I want a hug."

"You're hurt everywhere."

"I feel fine." I scooted to one side, apparently too close to the edge for his liking because he shot forward to catch my waist. I patted the admittedly small space next to me.

"Because they pumped you with painkillers," he muttered. Still, he discarded his shoes and slid in next to me, carefully drawing me into his arms. My own wound around his middle, and I threw my leg over his. Even with me lying half on top of him, we barely fit onto the bed, but I didn't care. I pressed my nose into the skin on his neck and inhaled, feeling like a drug addict that finally got her fix.