HIRAETH

27. Embrace of present

Sehun sat next to Ahru in the backyard garden, both gazing up at the stars. The night was calm, the sky clear, and a gentle breeze rustled the leaves around them. Sehun’s excitement was palpable as he shared his story.

"And after beating him in his game, I got this for you," Sehun said enthusiastically, his voice filled with pride as if he had won a marathon for the country. Ahru remained silent, listening to his animated recount. She glanced down at the small teddy bear in her lap, hugging it tightly.

Apparently, when Sehun found out Ahru was feeling down, he decided to cheer her up by getting her a new toy, treating her as if she were a child. For this small teddy bear, he had fought with a six-year-old boy because it was the last one left in the shop.

Ahru smiled, touched by his gesture. She appreciated how much time Sehun had been spending with her, keeping her engaged and distracted. His efforts did not go unnoticed, and she was deeply thankful for the care and support she received from everyone in the house, especially for their emotional and mental support.

It had been a month and a half since the incident that left her shaken, yet it felt like a year ago. She had not told anyone the full details, and no one pressured her to share. For that, she was grateful, especially to Taehyung. If he hadn’t stayed with her that day, she would have withdrawn completely from the world and might never have trusted anyone again.

These days, Taehyung seemed busier than ever, rarely visiting home or coming back very late. However, something had undeniably changed between them. Ahru felt it. She no longer had any reason to hate him, but she couldn’t bring herself to act sweetly towards him either, so she pretended to maintain her old animosity. Their interactions often ended in banter, with Taehyung ultimately stepping back and letting her win. She noticed the change in his behavior, how he had become more considerate and patient.

Lately, his presence had a significant effect on her, making her heart race. Maybe her old feelings were resurfacing. She recalled the day a month and a half ago when he had hugged her, comforting her just like their first meeting when they were fourteen. She knew what she was feeling wasn’t love; it was guilt.

They had met in the sixth grade when Taehyung protected her from bullies, hugging her the same way he did recently, offering comfort and safety. He had saved her from suicide once, a memory that remained vivid in her mind. She had a huge crush on him back then but never confessed, fearing he wouldn’t like her back.

Then she met Chanyeol. However, in the past few days, she found herself reminiscing about her moments with Taehyung, wondering if she was falling for him again. But she was scared of falling in love. Deep down, she knew she could trust him. They say you never forget your first love, and Kim Taehyung was hers. Yet, she wasn’t ready to love again.

Her memories with Taehyung were happy ones, unlike those with her ex-boyfriend. Reflecting on her relationship with Chanyeol, she realized how much had changed. The beautiful memories they once shared were now overshadowed by grim ones. She no longer felt love for him. The rapid change from happiness to sadness frightened her, making her wary of the future. Would there be more surprises? More grief? She wasn’t even finished dealing with the current pain. She wished for a pause in life, a moment of peace and safety where she could admire life’s beauty without the fear of what’s next.

Despite everything, she found happiness in the present. The people she met just three months ago had become her new family, providing a sense of belonging she desperately needed. Accepting that Chanyeol wasn’t meant for her was difficult, but necessary for her healing.

Suddenly, Sehun’s voice brought her back to reality. "Are you listening?" he asked, noticing her distant expression. She nodded nonchalantly, smiling softly at him.