Funtime Freddy, To Millie: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.
...
Oswald: Are you Mad?
Pit Bonnie: *Shakes Head*
Oswald: So sharpening knifes at 3 in the morning is just your hobby?
...
Funtime Freddy: We're going to defeat you with the power of friendship!
Millie: We're not friends.
Funtime Freddy, now wielding an axe: Then we'll defeat you with the power of incredible violence!
...
Oswald: Where are we going?
Pit Bonnie: To get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.
...
Sarah: What are your goals?
Abby: To pet all the dogs.
Sarah: No your fitness goals!
Abby: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs!
...
Oswald: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for one minute.
Greg: No, that's not how you make cookies-
Devon: FLOOR IT!
Oswald: How about 4,000,000 degrees for one second!
Greg: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THIS PLACE DOWN!
Oswald: I'M GONNA HARNESS POWER OF THE SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Toby: DO IT!
Greg: NO-
...
Monty: Smaller creatures are more nuts because they have a smaller body to contain their emotions!
Vanessa: Ridiculous, give me some examples.
Gregory: Wasps.
Roxy: Tiny dogs.
Monty: Gregory.
...
Gregory: I wish I could control bees and wasps to sting my enemies.
Vanessa: You're too young to have enemies.
Gregory: You don't even know.
...
Funtime Freddy: Axe evasion. The game ends when you run out of luck or I run out of axes.
Millie: H-how many axes do you have?
Funtime Freddy: You're about to find out.
...
Hazel: *Eating a cinnamon roll*
Literally EVERYONE but Alec: Cannibalism.
Hazel: *confused chewing noises*
...
Dylan Cooper: Let's do "Get Help!".
Oswald: What.
Dylan Cooper: "Get Help!"
Oswald: No!
Dylan Cooper, grinning: C'mon, you love it!
Oswald: It's humiliating.
Gabrielle: Do you have a better idea?
Oswald: ...
Oswald: No.
Dylan Cooper: We're doing it.
Oswald: WE ARE NOT!
*Later*
Dylan Cooper, helping Gabrielle carry Oswald: Get help!
Gabrielle: Please! He's dying!
Dylan Cooper: Help him! *Chucks him at the guards, knocking them out*
Dylan Cooper: Aw, classic!
Oswald: I hate it! it's humiliating!
Dylan Cooper, laughing: Not for me!
...
Glamrock Chica: Freddy's in parts and service, and I have a feeling that Gregory is going a little more unhinged now.
Gregory, holding a bag of Cheetos and a lit match: Leave me be! Freddy isn't here to stop me! I'm going feral.
...
Gregory: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Peepaw Willy is right there!
Glamrock Freddy: *Glitched Laughter*
...
Dylan: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.
Brooke: Weight loss? Drink water.
Millie: Clear skin? Drink water.
Funtime Freddy: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.
YOU ARE READING
Fnaf Fluff, Angst, And More Oneshots!
FanfictionSo far I don't plan on shipping characters in these. All characters featured that are not my OCs, belong and to Scott Cawthon and originate from the Fnaf Franchise. These oneshots based on both the games and the books. There a triggers in most o...
