1st of July, 2002
Caroline
Mummy's birthday was never easy, there is always a bunch of "what if"s in everybody's mind, what if she was alive right now?, what present would I have gotten?, would we still live in Kensington?, What do you get someone for their 41st birthday?, How would she look?, Older?, Would she be proud of me?
God, thinking of all that hurts a tod, I don't want to cry about this again, I'm tired of crying, mummy wouldn't want us to cry about her forever.
I walked myself to the kitchen, food heals everything according to William, so maybe a sandwich wouldn't go bad.
There wasn't much in fridge, just some eggs, so I had to somehow turn them into omelette, wich eventually turned into scrabbled eggs, don't ask me how.
William was God knows where, Pa had an engagement this afternoon, I believe I saw Harry on the way here, well we'll see.
"Food heals everything?", I jumped at the sound of a cold voice, "Blimey Harry, you gave me a fright!", Harry was the owner of the voice, he looked horrible, "Are you alright?", I asked as he sat down with a plate, stealing some of my eggs, "Yeah, It's my dead mother's birthday, I'm super alright, best day of my life", his sarcasm did not change my feeling about this, there was something wrong with my brother and I'm... He was smoking, AGAIN, "Henry Charles Albert David, why for the bloody hell were you smoking again!", I didn't shout, but I was definitely not quite, "Easy tiger, no need to be like Pa", I can't describe the angriness that flew over me, "First, that was incredibly desrespecful to the men who puts food in your plate, second you didn't answer my question", I started, "I'm pretty sure you're the one who made the eggs", he said sarcasticly while pointing at the food with his fork, "Answer me", using imperative with him was turning into a daily basis, "You want an answer Callie, you want a bloody answer?", He exploded, "Here it is, mum is gone and that hurts everyday, and smoking leases the pain so I won't have a brakedown every day!", he exclaimed
"Everyday? Harry it's been nearly 5 years, it's time to move on, let go of the pain, start living for heavens sake",
"And forget mummy, like you and William, not a chance, I'm honoring her",
"You think this is honor to her, smoking and being attached to pain?", I chuckled,
"She would HATE TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS!" Now it was a shout,
"SHE WOULD LOVE ME FOR NOT LETTING HER GO", oh mister you are mistaken,
"Harry listen to me, she would never fancy for you to live in pain, because of her, she'd want you to live",
"Yes she would, I didn't forget her",
"Neither did William and I",
"What's going on down here?", Speaking of the bloody devil,
"He was smoking ", I explained
"AGAIN, when are you going to stop?", Will started,
"Can you take my pain away?",
"Of mummy? Oh Harold only you can do that",
"I already told you to stop calling me that",
"Don't run away", I said
"Alright you tossers, I don't want to let go of the pain so I can have mummy for longer, you two just set her free, lived your lives, left her in the past",
"Harry believe me I miss mummy everyday, and so does Callie, but holding onto the pain will only make your life miserable ",
"Harry please listen to us",
"No, I won't listen ",
"CHRIST HAROLD, only a mother could help you now", Will was mad, like really mad,
"WELL I HAPPEN NOT TO HAVE ONE!", And we are back to shouting,
"NEITHER DO WE", That was a very twin thing to do,
"HAROLD WE ARE LIVING OUR LIVES, LETTING OURSELVES BE HAPPY, DO THAT, LET GO", William screamed,
"NO!"
That was a bittersweet turn of events, Christ help him.
•••
Not quite sure about this chapter,
Well I hope you liked it.
Thank you for reading
Love, Lilli
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Caroline Wales
Fanfiction"Princess Diana only ever had one daughter, HRH Princess Caroline of Wales"
