Deadly Sins | Monsta X

Part 30: Distraction

"Sweetie, Kyun is not—"

"I know he's not able!" she snaps a little too loud. "My common sense tells me he's not able! But you should see him when he's with me! He's caring and sweet and kind..."

Anya hates that she has to justify herself. She's the human here. Shouldn't he be having this kind of conversation with Kyun? With his friend? The demon that isn't able to love but makes her feel like this?

"It's not real," he whispers and her heart throbs at his words. "Listen sweetie, I'm not saying this because I don't wish you happiness. I do. And I want Kyun to be happy just as much! But he's a demon. And will forever be a demon! I've seen him with other girls before..."

Again she feels her insides turning, this time so powerfully that she has to restrain the urge to vomit onto Magnus' lap.

"And I thought that they might bring things out in him again...human feelings. But in the end, it was just a game for him..."

Every single fiber in her body is in denial. She's surprised about this as well, since she's been trying for months to tell herself exactly what Magnus is telling her now. But she refuses to believe that this is just a game for him. Refuses to believe she's just someone, just another trophy to polish his ego. The way he's protecting her, the way he gives her support, shelters her when she needs him, the way they laugh together...

"I don't believe that!" she whispers and her vision becomes blurry. Alec leans over the table and passes her a tissue.

"We get that it's painful!" Magnus' husband says. "But I don't have to explain to you why a relationship between a demon and a human can never work out...right?"

Chewing her bottom lip to suppress her tears, she fumbles with the tablecloth and tries to compose her expression before lifting her head and looking at the married couple.

"You two are the living proof that there's a chance for supernatural creatures and humans." She knows damn well it's not the same thing because, in the end, Magnus, the warlock, is able to have human emotions. She's just looking for something, anything to validate her feelings. But it feels like they'd still judge her even if Kyun was able to return her feelings. "That you have the nerve and the audacity to judge me only because Kyun isn't the right kind of creature, because he's a demon...not a warlock... Of all of the people in this world, I thought you'd most certainly understand..."

Scared she might snap at her friends at any moment, she gets up so abruptly that her chair wobbles, almost falling over.

Magnus looks at her wide-eyed. "Sweetie!"

Without another word she turns and leaves the table. 

The moment she leaves, she feels the tears she'd restrained pouring down her cheeks like a waterfall. She never meant to be so rude to Magnus and Alec; she knows they only want to help her. But it's not like she can get rid of her feelings by just talking them away. God, if only it were so simple.
Through a blurred view, she tries to find her way to somewhere private when suddenly she bumps into someone.

"Sorry!" she mumbles without stopping, her gaze lowered to hide her tears.

"Shit! Anya, are you alright?"

Her eyes snap up and catch Jooheon's soft gaze.

Damn it!

"Yes! Yes, I'm just... I..."

Tears run down her cheeks uncontrollably and she presses her hand to her waist. The dress is so tight, it cuts off the air and Anya begins to panic as it gets harder for her to breathe.