You Tripped, I Fall

chapter seven

Chapter Seven,
   Aina

     Holy Week. No classes for the whole week, but I need to submit some paper works before I have nothing to worry about. After that, I'll leave that hell-hole of a school in a matter for time, not as quiet as I planned.

I stared at the dim-lighted ceiling in my room and stared at it for a few more time. For some reason, I feel lazy and sleepy. Pero ayos lang. As a productive person, I don't neglect these days as a part of my development. I just wish I couldn't waste this time for something I should or could be doing right now.

Tuesday, sulat ko sa journal as I lay prone at my bed.

Tuesday of nothingness. I finished reading my poetry book, I finished doing my PR paper, I finished watching another documentary, I finished making sure that Deia is safe by calling her to the wall separating our rooms. 

Tuesday na walang magawa. No distraction and everything. 

Kaya nang pumasok sa consciousness ko si Seiji— I zoned out and my mind went... plain. Napuno ng hangin ang isip ko habang nililipad ang karatulang may nakasulat:

'That's the first time I've seen him mad. Never, ever in our whole childhood quarrel.'

Buti na lang nilabas ko na sa kwarto ang computer set after I went home that day, kun'di, mapipilitan akong kausapin siya. Hindi ko na din naman iyon ginagamit. I have an iPad. I just don't get myself and it's stressing me out that siya ang nilapitan ko.

I kicked my feet and drown myself in my pillow. Gosh, bakit siya— at sa lugar pa talaga na 'yon ako nanghingi ng respondents?! So dumb, so dumb, so dumb. Nandoon naman si Ate Cecil eh.

"Ayos lang kayo, ma'am?"

My feet stopped kicking the bed. Napasara ako ng journal when a voice of a man calls outside my room after two knocks. 

"I'm fine," I replied. Inayos ko kaagad ang sarili sa pamamagitan ng pag-upo, tying my hair up to fix myself.

Ilang sandali lang ay naisipan ko nang magbreakfast at lumabas ng kwarto, dahilan para matagpuan ang isang bodyguard sa tabi ng pinto, dressed in a black tuxedo, buff and tall than Seiji could ever be.

I can feel him walking behind me as I walk down the hallway. My feet automatically walked faster while feeling discomfort setting in. Hindi ako sanay. But to respond to it, inayos ko na lang ang posture dahil hindi ako makakatakas sa anxiousness na nararamdaman nina mom and dad, specially that they're mostly not in the house.

I picked up a bread and a knife. Akmang bubuksan ko na sana ang margarine, but kuya guard snatched it from my hand. I'm stunned. I watched him replace it with a smaller bread knife, tucking it in my hand, and going back to his position as if nothing happened.

Are guards supposed to be like this? I groaned inside at pinagpatuloy na lamang ang paggawa ng toasted bread.