Green Is Your Color||KilluaxGon

[20] The Hardest Thing

"Why are you both so disturbed by the fact that I'm happy?" Killua managed, struggling not to cry. "It's not fair! Why do I never get anything?! I've spent my whole life living the way you wanted me to and I was miserable. I was fucking miserable, Dad! I tried to kill myself! Can't I just be happy for one fucking time?!"

"If you being happy means you being with a man," Silva inhaled and locked eye with Killua coldly. "Then I'd rather you kill yourself."

Killua stared in disbelief at his father's cold expression. He hadn't wanted to, but he started crying. Either way, he didn't pull his eyes off his father.

It was silent as the two stared at each other. Killua's mother stayed silent, but didn't hold eye contact. Alluka was in shock, looking between both of her parents for something—anything. And Killua cried in front of his entire family, desperate for them all to say it was some sort of twisted joke.

"Killua, you won't be returning to school this coming year. You'll move in with me and go to school in Washington. I have work there and there's a private school that teaches business."

"No." Killua demanded with furrowed brows. He wiped his eyes quickly and held his father's gaze.

"It's not up for debate." Silva spat. "If you're not packed by the twenty-ninth, you'll leave without your belongings. And if you continue with this disgraceful attitude, I'll take your electronics indefinitely."

If there were one person on this planet Killua wanted to be around, it was Gon. He sputtered and cried in front of his family, wiping his tears as they came out in embarrassment. He needed comfort, a hug, a supportive word. His parents simply watched, lacking any drop of empathy in their eyes. His siblings deserted him in his deepest time of need. Not to mention Kalluto, the one who outed him in the first place.

"You'll have many business opportunities in Washington, Killua; you'll be able to take over the family business one day soon. And without electronics or Satanic distractions, I know this phase of yours will pass." Silva shook his head. "I was always going to take you to Washington, Killua, but now you've given me all the more reason to. I hope your time in Seattle will rehabilitate you."

"So, what? I'm being shipped off to some new, prissy private school—as if this one isn't enough—in hopes that I'll take over a company that I have no interest in and get married to some stupid, ugly bitch so that I can have kids and repeat your fucked-up cycle?" Killua scoffed. "No, I'd rather die."

"Life would be so much more easier if you just knew when to quit, Killua." Kikyo spoke up.

"That's a double comparative, Mom; something I learned in my formative years, when you taught me that my life has no value if I don't succeed in school." Killua glowered. "I mean, are you serious? Is the really all I'm good for? Grades, chores, and a perfect, suck-up Christian son. One point for the Zoldyck family!" Killua started to shout again. "I mean, do you think you're in a fucking competition with Mrs. Pembrook? Your kids aren't fucking bargaining chips!"

"Quit it with the immaturity."

Killua stopped arguing—partially out of fear and partially out of lack of words. He let out a shaky sigh as he tried not to cry again. Everything felt so dizzy and blurry and he was lost in his own mind.

"All I ever wanted was to be happy." Killua sniffed, looking up at his parents. Tears brimmed in his eyes again and he couldn't breathe. "And I never thought that happiness would make you hate me."