Little White Lies

11:Don't do that ever again

TW: Self-loathing and self-harm.

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"Aaron, calm down. I'm okay." Elijah was gone, as if he were high, his voice was soft and plain, completely lacking emotion. His face, equally void.

"Are you mad?! How the hell do you want me to calm down?!" His voice was frantic, as he waved one hand around not knowing what to do with it, keeping the other wrapped around his bleeding wrist.

"Aaron, look at me." He brought his chin to meet his eyes, keeping the other hand as it was. "I'm fine."

"What?! No you are not!" He shrieked, as panic overtook him.

"Aaron." His voice was soft, calming almost, he called his name in a whisper. "I'm fine." He assured him again, staring deep into his amber eyes. He smiled. Strings of light casted golden shadows on Aaron's face, he looked scared, like a little child caught in the crossfire. His amber eyes, sweet like honey, had brown and golden specks all over them, the edge of the iris was… blue? "You have such pretty eyes."

A tear slipped from his eye and slid down Aaron's cheek.

How could this boy make him cry and laugh at the same time?

How could he hold so much power over him?

More importantly, how had he allowed to hold that much power over him?

Elijah smiled again, pulling his wrist away from Aaron's grasp, he turned around and walked to his nightstand, pulling a bandage from the cabinet, and wrapping it gently around his wrist.

"See. I'm fine." His voice was silent, echoing in the lame white walls of his bedroom, as he raised his arm to show him.

"You're gonna bleed out!" He protested.

"No, I'm not." He argued back.

"What?! Are you stupid? you're gonna bleed out! Stop saying you're fine!" Elijah rolled his eyes.

"Aaron, I'll be fine. It takes more than a little cut to bleed out. Trust me. I'll be fine." He smiled. "That might seem like a lot of blood." He pointed to the small pool on the floor. "But its really not much. If I take care of myself. Nothing will happen to me."

Aaron collapsed, falling to his knees.

It was his turn to cry.

The fact that he knew he was going to be 'okay' wasn't a good thing at all. It was like a giant red flag.

He buried his face in his hands, sobbing uncontrollably. Elijah sat next to him, crossing his legs like a little child, and pulled him onto his warm embrace.

Aaron wrapped his arms around his shoulders, clinging onto him as if his life hung on it. He buried his head in the crook of his neck. He loved his cologne, but never really gave it much thought once so ever, he smelled like lavender and roses. He smelled like summer.

Better, he smelled like home…

"Don't you ever do that again!" He wailed, his voice broken with pain.

What was happening to him? What were this plethora of feelings he failed to understand? Was there even a word to describe it? Could it be love? No, it was more like affection? But what was that he felt earlier? Betrayal? But why?

They were nothing in the end. How could that count as betrayal? Simple, it didn't. And that scared him so much.

"Elijah." Aaron's voice sounded broken. "Please don't do that ever again." He pleaded to him again, finally meeting his gaze.

"I'm okay, Aaron, it's really nothing." His voice was silent, barely reaching his ears.

"Why would you want to kill yourself, pretty boy?" He looked up to meet his gaze, tears swelling in his eyes.

"I don't."

"Then why...?" It took him a couple seconds to finally understand what was going on. "Elijah, that's awful."

"So." He shrugged. "It's not like anyone cares..." He turned his gaze to a side.

"Don't say that. I care." He argued

Elijah laughed maniacally.

"You care now. You wouldn't care if you knew the truth about me. And you won't care. Eventually, you'll stop caring." Then added on an afterthought. "Everyone does…" He spoke staring at the ceiling, his head hung back. His voice was silent, barely reaching his ears, raw emotion trembling in each word.

"Then tell me."

"What?" The question caught Elijah off guard.

"You said I don't know the truth, if that's so, then tell me. What is the truth?" He sat upright staring directly into his eyes, but keeping his arms wrapped around him.

'Like you didn't know.' A voice spoke inside his head.

"No." He was dry in his answer, and quick to stand up afterwards, letting go of Aaron who tumbled forward almost falling face-first. He brushed the dust of his hazel suit before walking off into the bathroom. Leaving Aaron dumbfounded sitting on the floor of his bedroom, regretting his life decisions.

He sat there still.

What was he doing with his life?

He heard the faucet running.

He was going to be a prestigious lawyer. What the hell had he done with his life?

Water splashing.

He could have been a prestigious lawyer, it what he was meant to be, supposed to be... What he was about to become… Why? Why did bad things always happen to him? Why did he always got caught between the people and their childhood traumas? Why did he always end up getting hurt?

The sound of crystal shattering into a million pieces brought him out of his thoughts.

'Elijah' Something shouted inside his head.

He stood up quickly almost tripping with his own feet and practically ran to the bathroom. The doorknob twisted easily, swinging the door open.

He stood there in front of the broken mirror, his face dripping water, part from when he washed his face, part from the tears. He was shaking, his fists clenched on his sides. His head hung low, his hairs picked on a braid fell on the side of his head. His right fist was covered in blood.

"Pretty boy." Aaron whispered.

"I hate myself."

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A/N: Do you think Elijah will take care of himself? Also, so much crying T_T

What do you think of today's chapter? I love reading your comments! (Only person reading this lol)

Next chapter out on Friday.