Hateful Love

Chapter Fifty-One

But then the door opens, and Draco steps inside.

The first thing I notice is that he looks incredibly guilty. He completely avoids my heated gaze as he shuts the door behind him, and his head is bent low when he walks over to me. I can tell he’s getting ready to hug me, so I quickly cross my arms in frustration.

Draco stops at this, and he looks over at me meekly. It’s easy to see that he’s treading as carefully as he can when he says, “Um…hey?”

I press my mouth into a thin line and don’t reply. Draco lets out a tired sigh and runs his hand over his face, then says pleadingly, “Okay, okay, I know you’re mad. And I don’t blame you—I really don’t. I just—I don’t know why I didn’t tell you everything, alright? I thought I could handle it.”

“What do you mean, ‘you thought you could handle it’?” I snap incredulously. I don’t notice as Draco immediately shuts up and shrinks away from my angry glare. “This was serious, Draco. That girl got killed by You-Know-Who, and you’re trying to tell me you could’ve handled it yourself?”

“That’s not—look, Yaxley’s daughter got killed because the Dark Lord found out she was—um, dating someone else.”

“What?” I say, staring him down while he looks around uncomfortably. “If that’s why, then you’ve got a hell of a lot of explaining to do.”

“I know,” Draco replies quickly. “You’re right, okay? Just—the reason I never told you about the marriage was because I thought it wasn’t going to happen. I thought that if I ignored my parents’ letters, they would just give up on it. But they didn’t, and then I didn’t find out how serious this all was until Yaxley’s daughter was dead. They—they found out she was seeing someone who wasn’t a Death Eater, and You-Know-Who, he…he just sort of lost it and killed both of them.”

There’s a moment of stingy silence before I say in a quiet voice, “That could have easily been us, Draco.”

He looks me directly in the eye for the first time all day, then says carefully, “I…I know.”

Neither of us says anything for another moment. But then the anger flares up hot again, and before I can think, I put my hands up and give Draco a hard shove. He stumbles backwards, muttering in shock, “Bloody hell, Cassie—“

“I trusted you,” I snap, giving him another furious push as he tries his best just to get out of my way. “I trusted you, but you lied to me. And I had to hear all this from bloody Zabini, how do you think that made me feel? I could have helped you, but you decided to keep it a secret. Did it never occur to you that I might actually want to be involved in your life?”

“Jesus Christ, Cassie, of course! Will you just let me explain—“

“No,” I bite back coldly, smacking his shoulder hard and hitting him every chance I can get. “You had months to explain, but you never did. Didn’t you think I might want to know about your arranged marriage with some other girl? I’m supposed to be your girlfriend, for fuck’s sake—“

“You think I don’t know that? I wanted to tell you for the longest time, but I didn’t because I knew you would flip out like this—“

“Bullshit, Draco Malfoy, I’m pissed because you lied to me, that’s not even a good excuse—“

“I—“

“Just shut up, I don’t want to hear it!” I snap, giving him one last shove before furiously crossing my arms. My head is spinning and the anger is making me feel dizzy. “We’re supposed to trust each other and tell each other everything, but you can’t even do that. What else have you been keeping from me?”

Draco keeps a safe distance from me, and I expect him to be angry at me for pushing and yelling at him. But he just looks really, really guilty. “Um…I, uh…”

“Look, you’d better tell me, whatever it is,” I hiss, knowing there’s something else he’s been lying about.

“Well, er…I guess—“ He pauses to swallow hard, fixing his gaze on the floor. “—I guess I should tell you that the fight two weeks ago, it was because…I attacked them because they were insulting you. And Amycus caught us, so I had detention with him for the past week before I went home. I…I think that’s it.”

I press my mouth into a thin line as I realize just how much he’s really been shutting me out. Turning for the door with a small shake of my head, I flatly reply over my shoulder, “I’m leaving.”
          “Cassie, wait,” Draco pleads hastily as my hand curls around the doorknob. I hesitate at the desperate note in his voice, and he says quietly, “I know you’re mad, I know you are, but—you and me…we’re still okay, right?”

Tears form in my eyes, but my voice holds its angry tone as I snap back, “I don’t know”, and slam the door behind me.