Unlucky

4. everyone uses tinder

"You know that you can make your own account, right?" Uma asks me with a judgmental stare from her spot on the floor in my medium-sized shared room.

I look down at her from my own spot on my bed, and I tell her, "but this is so much more fun."

"Look, you're my favorite ally, but you swipe right on so many girls that aren't my type! And forcing me to talk to them when I don't want to is homophobic, you know that right? I'd like to do the same for you and force you to talk to a bunch of guys you don't like."

"I'm not looking for a new boyfriend," I say instantly. It's my go-to excuse, and it always works with Uma.

I watch as she does a very dramatic fake sigh, and says, "it's been a while since Dylan broke up with you. You have to recover from the heartbreak. Come on Irene, I believe in you!"

Right. 

My best friend, the one I've known since the first day of college in the boring events of a very sweaty orientation week, believes I'm heartbroken. I mean, I was upset. And, to be honest, it still sometimes makes me feel bad, but I wouldn't say I'm absolutely devastated. It came out of nowhere for me, and I thought Dylan could be a constant thing for me. I didn't think he'd just break up with me out of the blue. 

But, at this point, it's just another unlucky thing that's happened to me. It's not holding me back, it just reminded me that dating is not for me. 

I don't think it ever has been. My friends growing up always talked about their millions of crushes, but I always just felt like I was in the background. I just wasn't boy crazy, and that alienated me from them sometimes. They were dating random guys from the grade above ours, and I just wanted to talk about anything but that. 

I love getting involved in the love lives of others, like Uma's, but I can't picture that for myself. It's always a muddy scene, never clear enough for me to take the bright and bold and cursive message from it. 

I'm just wired differently, I don't need love. Eventually, I'll settle down with a man. But not now, now for at least another few years. 

"It's just so hard to get over him."

"Fiiiinnne," she says before she hands me her phone again. It's back on the familiar home page of Tinder, ready for the swiping to resume. They tell me, "go ahead. BUT, I expect good matches."

This is our definition of a typical Tuesday night, a new tradition built to put off the work we've already been assigned. It's not helpful, especially considering that I have that pesky presentation to get over with, but it's fun. 

And sometimes, that's just what I need. I'll be productive later, but for now, I can just focus on this like it's the most important task in the world. Delicate looks, but clear choices are always made. 

"I'm making great choices," I tell Uma as I swipe left on some white man holding a large green fish on some 'once in a lifetime trip', it's always the most annoying types of humans that you have to get through in order to get real people.

She's just waiting there, acting like she's scared of what messages she'll be getting later. They'll either thank me or temporarily ban me from their phone again. Only time will tell. 

They're picking up a red YA book I've never read, and Uma says, "let me know when you're done."

She typically allows me a few minutes of unmonitored time on Tinder, and I always encounter wild individuals or ones who are ready to settle down. The latter are on the wrong platform, and it's hard to find someone who is a right fit. 

Uma's type is anyone except for most of the people I pick, but she still lets me pick anyway. She knows that I get so excited over this, and they won't take that away. I hold onto her blue phone even tighter after it almost falls onto my own face, and the next profile, after swiping left on the last guy, is one I didn't expect to see. 

Lucia, from earlier today, is pictured smiling widely in the middle of the beach. A peace sign is held up, and her navy bikini looks amazing on her. Windswept hair without a care in the world, she looks like she's with her one true love: the ocean. She has thin white sandals on, and her rings from earlier today are absent from her fingers. 

I wonder when the photo was taken, but I'm not sure I want to know. I skip past the small description she has below her photo, I don't want to read it. It's awkward, I don't like to see people I know on a site like this. 

Not that I know her, it's just that I've met her. And I don't want to read what she's like or what she's looking for. I might never see her again, I mean, this campus is big. But, there's a chance we could become friends. And I just don't want to know that kind of stuff.

Uma seems to think I'm taking too long on this profile, and she gets up, snatching the phone away from me like I'm about to commit an unspeakable crime. "Why are you taking so long on deciding with this person?" She asks. 

"Uh- I'm just trying to be more careful. I don't want you to hate me."

They roll their eyes, making a quick motion on her screen and tell me, "Well, don't worry! I just swiped right."

I feel like my eyes widen at the sound of that, but they don't notice. Uma gets back to their book after she hands me the phone back, and I continue wordlessly. 

She's gorgeous, of course Uma would like her. And she probably has a great personality, if you ignore the small anger issues that cause cans of soda to be thrown to the ground. It's obvious why I care about this so much.

I love supporting Uma in her different hookups and relationships, I tend to get over invested in some. I think they're a great match for Uma, but she'll disagree and then I like coming up with reasons to keep them around. 

I move on to the next few possible matches, scrolling past short summaries by pretty girls and annoying guys. Uma ends my trial after 5 more minutes, and I don't argue with her about it.

"Look!" Uma says shortly after I've started my presentation and the fun and games are over with. 

"What?" I ask her, but she shoves her phone against my face as a response.

"We matched!" She says in the background, and I'm stuck on the small text message from Lucia. 

A short clever pick up line meant for Uma, adorned with a happy emoji and all in lowercase letters. "That's great!" I tell Uma.

They're smiling so brightly, and I'm happy for them too. I always get excited over every match of hers. I don't know what Uma or Lucia intend to do yet, but I'll be the best friend I can be.