Chapter 213: Let Me Go

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Later That Night

After spending the day roaming the streets of the city, I felt way too guilty letting my mom treat to a lunch, knowing she would insist on paying for everyone, so instead I suggested that Josh and I make everyone dinner back at the apartment.

Despite the fact that neither of us have really cooked the entire time we've been here, it would just have to be a learning experience for all of us.

He took my hand, guiding us back to our building.
"You know, it'll be like our first time hosting together." I said, playfully nudging him. I could see his smile grow, keeping his eyes forward.
"You okay?" I asked, feeling like something was just.. off with him ever since Jake and I had talked. I hoped he wasn't overthinking things again. There was nothing to worry about. Not this time. I knew what I wanted now, and I was happy. We were happy.

And it was all going to be okay.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He said simply, forcing a smile like I didn't know what that looked like. I squeezed his hand tighter.
"You sure? Because.. I don't know, you kinda seem.." I said, my voice trailing off. He nodded again.
"Yeah. I'm sure." I had no choice but to take his word for it, despite the fact that I could tell something was up, hoping he'd tell me about it later when it was just the two of us.

As we made our way back up the stairs, I turned back to everyone while Josh searched for his keys.
"Okay, so.. it might be a little cramped." I warned, feeling my cheeks burn. "After all, it was only meant for the two of us but.. it's still nice, and-"
"They're gonna love it, don't worry." Josh said softly, smirking back at me, unlocking the door and letting everyone in.

I was thankful that I decided to clean the whole place from head to toe last night in a nervous whirlwind, my mind racing thinking about today. I guess anxiety could be useful sometimes.

"Oh, honey this is adorable." Mom said, following us closely behind. It could be a box on the street and she would still find someway to make me feel better. And for that, I would always be thankful. I peeked over, now watching Jake as he slowly moseyed his way in, hands tightly shoved into his pockets as he looked around, his eyes lingering on the photographs on the walls a little too long.

"I'll get dinner started." Josh said, taking off his graduation robe and hanging in on the back of the door. "Jaime, you wanna get everyone drinks?"

And for the next few hours, I got to live out one of my oldest daydreams; him effortlessly gliding around the kitchen like he had done this a million times, me filling everyone glasses and making sure they remained full the entire night that consisted of nostalgic conversation and loving banter, my favorite way to spend an evening.

It made me miss home that much more.

Soon enough, I saw Jake wander down the hallway towards our bedroom. I decided to take this opportunity for the two of us to finally.. talk.

"Hey." I muttered. He instantly turned around, as if he had been anticipating that I would follow him. I guess he knew me better than I knew myself.
"Hey." He said, stopping just before my bedroom door, leaning back against it. His eyes were already bloodshot, no doubt having snuck more pours than I could keep up with. Part of me felt guilty, knowing how he got, wanting nothing more than to just not feel anything at all when things started to get like this.

"Can we talk?" I asked, motioning behind him. He bit down on his lip, hesitating for a moment before subtly nodding, pushing back against it to open it. I followed him in, quietly shutting it behind us. He looked around, I'm sure searching for something that would inevitably make him even more upset than he already was.

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