Monster

01

I make it to the staircase and debate if I should walk up. I look around and see people scattered around talking. I soak everything thing in and try my hardest to find someone to devote my attention to so I don't have to be so aware of my anxiety and have some kind of distraction.

I see a guy who had a full beard and a very obvious beer gut, which is kinda ironic given the circumstance. I look down at my phone and check the time.

2:55 pm.

It starts in 5 minutes and I don't even know what room it's in I already see most of the people clear off and head upstairs to head to the room. I quietly fall behind a group of people.

My heart is beating so fast that I'm convinced that people can hear it around me. I don't think I've ever been this anxious before. My mind is running a million miles an hour.

I really don't want to be here.

I make it upstairs and see a group of people standing in front of a door. I take a deep breath and look back at the time to see if I have enough time to go to the bathroom.

2:58 pm

Only two minutes I have to be fast. I walk past people and look around for a sign of some kind of bathroom. I then see one restroom which is a family restroom.

I open the door and am met with a dim light and cracks in the felling. A rusty sink and a toilet that looks like if you even hover over it it's guaranteed to give you some kind of disease. I take a deep breath and closed the door behind me.

I look into the mirror and see my face that is covered with makeup and my freckles softly showing. I take a deep breath and fix my hair a little bit due to the flyaways coming out of my ponytail. I turn on the rusty sink and quickly wash my hands.

I walk out and see the hallway cleared.  Shit am I late? How long was I in there? I take a deep breath and start walking to hopefully the correct door. Before I grab the handle I am met with a sign on the door.

Alcoholics Anonymous

Looks like I am in the right place. I try and calm my nerves quickly so I'm not more late than I already am.

After having internal dread I finally open the door. Everyone's eyes flip over to me, and I quickly look around.

"Oh look who made it" A man who seems he's in his 50s and is wearing a blue polo shirt and gray hair with facial hair looked at me. "Please take a seat" I give him a soft smile and focus my eyes down at my shoes.

I find a seat next to two men. One of them was bald and very thin his tan skin had a few bruises on them. The other guy had blonde hair and looked around 40 years old. He did look rather healthy besides the bags under his eyes you can see from miles away.

"Welcome to AA my name is Floyd Johnson. Everyone, please welcome Mackenzie Taylor. I'll have her introduce herself" He interrupted me analyzing the two guys next to me. I look back at him and give him a small nod.

"Umm hi I'm Mackenzie Taylor, I'm twenty-one years old. I struggle with alcoholism and I'm here to hopefully get help with that... umm yeah I don't know what else to talk about" My voice was very shaky due to my nerves. My eyes wandered around the room and see everyone's answers. They all had blank expressions. We'll all instead of the guy in front of me.

He sat there with a smile grin and practically stared into my wandering eyes. I take a deep breath. Am I wearing enough makeup? Did I say something stupid? Why is he staring at me?

"Well welcome Mackenzie, I hope this can help you on your way to sobriety" I break my connection with the guy in front of me. "Oh uhh thank you," I said with a small fake smile.