Love alarm continued

3.The inevitable

The clouds hid the stars making the sky pitch black, you couldn't even see a glimmer of the moon. And yet the city was lit up by hundreds of lights flashing, flickering and shining across the streets. The air was cold but I welcomed it after how stuffy it had been inside.

Hye young stood infront of me trying to find the right way to say his words. I could feel it was coming, there's no way he's not breaking up with me.

"Kim JoJo do you love me?" He finally asked after what felt like an enternity of silence.

My mind went blank.

Do I love Hye young?

I definitely thought he was a good person. He gave up so much for me, was always reliable and he tried to fit me in his days.

"I don't know" I responded with the uncertainty clear in my voice.

"Maybe we should just take another break for a bit. The only thing you do is work and study, I understand your situation but sometimes I don't even see you for days. When was the last time we even talked for longer than 5 minutes?" I could hear the exhaustion in his voice, he was clearly tired of this relationship again.

I stood there in silence as I reminisced on me and Hye Young's relationships and all the other times we had this same conversation. When me and Hye young were first together it was like a breath of fresh air. We both seemed to get along and, after he won me over, I agreed to the relationship.

But then college came around and I had to work even harder. Hye young And I weren't in the same college and I was always busy which led to us constantly breaking up and getting back together. But he never stopped ringing my love alarm, this was the only time it was completely silent.

"JoJo is your love alarm on?"

"..." I couldn't tell him for some reason. "You know I deleted it" I stated. I told him about the shield already, but I decided to lie about deleting the app. Everytime it rang I could know that Hye young still loved me, even if it was just a little.

"Give me your phone I wanna make sure of something." I turned around and clutched onto my phone, after hearing his words.

"What do you want to do with it?" I always knew everything he was going to say, but I just keep dragging this out each time. If he found out he didn't even love me I'd have to let go of him for good. I would have no one else left to rely on.

"I want to... No. I need to see if I still ring your love alarm."

I felt my heart ache as he with each word. I wasn't even sure if I loved him so why does this keep hurting.

It was finally time for us to end this. We both knew it, but Hye young was always hesitant when it came to himself. I wanted to hang on to him but I knew I had to be the one that let go first. I could see that we were hurting from this. But now I had finally come to realise that it was not gonna work. It would never work with anyone if I stayed as I am. I had to let go of Hye young

I took a breath as I held back tears of regret and pain from all these years of us clinging onto eachother. I finally handed him my phone. This was finally it.

He went to download the app and saw that I had it on my phone already. His face didn't hide any of the disbelief he had. He slowly looked up and asked me with pain in his voice "how long have you had this...? How long have you been lying?"

"I never deleted it, I wanted to hear it ring." I said as I felt me throat closing up

He stopped for a bit, trying to decide what to ask first, but I already knew what he would ask. "Is it-" He squeezed out before I cut him off.

"It's on" I said forcing the words out of my mouth. I didn't realised how heavy words could be till I felt it hit both of us.

"Make a new account." He demanded with frustration in his voice. "You said the shield on your account so why don't you make a new one."

I thought of that years ago and he probably did too. But we didn't want to find out incase I didn't ring his love alarm.

I didn't want this exhausting relationship to end but I can't let anyone else suffer because of me anymore. I had to do this.

I filled out the new account and we put our phones infront of each other. It was the same for both of us.

*No one within 10 metres loves you*

"Kim JoJo, you-"

"Hye young let's end it!" I shoved those dreadful words out of my mouth and I instantly saw the shock on Hye Young's face. But despite this all their was relief in his eyes. He wanted to end this too.

"No brakes, no getting back together we should just stop here." I further stated as I felt a tear drop down my face. I turned away from him.

"JoJo you're crying." He tried to reach out and comfort me like he always did, but I already knew where that led to.

I'd just latch onto him, let him take all my sorrows away and he'd stay with me mistaking his care for love. I've done nothing for him in this parasitic relationship, so I should at least make sure it ends.

"I'm going to go back to work, let's try not to see eachother again" I told him with a breaking voice as I walked away.

I don't know whether he just stood there or walked away, but I didn't look back and kept moving forward.