Wot In The Harri Potter?

5 - Porridge

"I taught your mummy how to fly," he says to her, "which is a good job, otherwise the dragon in fourth year would have made her toast. And I'm not talking about the breakfast I'm hoping she'll put on for me."

I sigh heavily as I reach for the bread bin, shoving two slices of bread in the toaster.

"Maybe one day I'll be able to teach you to fly too, little Lilykins."

My heart stops at Draco's words, my vision blurring as I stare hard at the toaster.

"But then again," Draco continues. "I'm sure your father will want that pleasure-"

"Toast is ready!" I say a little too jovially as I slam my finger against the cancel button, forcing the barely crisp bread to pop up. "Butter?"

"Vegan."

"Just dry then." I mutter stiffly, throwing the two pieces down on a plate.

I stride over to him, placing his toast and coffee down a little too hard.

He looks up at me, raising an eyebrow. "Everything alright?"

"Fine." I reach down to tickle Lily under her chin. "Do you mind watching over her this morning? I've a few errands I need to run."

Draco frowns. "Errands? You better not be thinking about crawling back to that prick."

I turn away. "Yes. I need my things back." I take a deep breath. "And I need my job."

"No, you don't."

"Draco," I warn, trying to keep my voice low so as not to upset Lily, "you cannot come waltzing into my life and start making demands."

"Yes I can, and I mean it when I say that if you don't tell the Weasleys about Lily then I will."

"Please, Draco." I beg, driving my hands through my hair. "Don't do this to me."

"Don't do this to your daughter, Harri. I know you're better than this."

I start to cry then. I cry because I know I just can't cope with the idea of going back to that world.

Draco immediately throws the spoon back down in Lily's unfinished porridge and scrapes his chair back, standing up to pull me into a hug, holding me so close that I can feel the strong beat of his heart hammering against his chest.

"I'll come with you, Harri." He murmurs against the top of my head as he tangles his fingers in my hair. "I'll be right by your side the whole time. You're not alone. You've never been alone. From that moment when you first stepped into Madam Malkin's, you had me."

His words just make me cry harder. I sob against him, clutching him tight and soaking his shirt with my tears.

"I'm just so scared." I admit, my voice thick and muffled.

"You walked to your death, Harri. I saw you. I saw you be the bravest witch anyone could be. Let Lily see who her real mother is: a brave and beautiful witch who laughs in the face of danger."

"I'm not her anymore." I sob, "I stopped being her the moment I ran away."

"Well then stop running, Harri."

He's right. I know he's right.

We stand there holding each other tightly as Lily babbles happily in her highchair.

"You know your daughter is covering herself in porridge right now?"

I find myself quite unexpectedly laughing, and I pull away from Draco to wipe my face on my sleeves.

"If I agree to come back with you," I say slowly, smiling tearily at the sight of Lily who is now wearing her bowl like a hat, porridge dripping down her face, "will you promise me one thing?"

"Anything."

"Help me find Dudley."

Draco looks at me, his eyes widening in surprise. "Your cousin? Have you not seen him-?"

"He went into hiding with my aunt and uncle three years ago." I explain. "He could be anywhere, and I have no idea how to find him. Apart from Lily, he's the only family I have left in the world."

"Of course I'll help you find him," he says at once. "But does that mean- Harri, are you saying that you're coming back?"

I look up into his hopeful face as my heart pounds uneasily in my chest. And, slowly, I nod.

His face instantly breaks out into a look of pure happiness: his eyes lighting up, and lips tugging into a helpless smile.

"But first I need you to look after Lily whilst I go and get my things back from the club." I say quickly, wanting to get my affairs in order first. "And there's some other loose ends which I will need to tie up."

I try to ignore the ball of anxiety expanding inside my chest, the idea of going back and facing my past terrifying me.

"I'm happy to look after Lily, you know that. But let me go to the club. I don't trust that prick."

"Fine." I say, knowing arguing with him about it is pointless.

He takes my hands in his, smiling warmly down at me. "You're doing the right thing, Harri. For you and Lily. And I'll be right by your side the whole time, I promise."

I close my eyes, experiencing a rush of pain.

I'm never going to say goodbye to you again. I promise.

Promises no longer mean anything to me anymore, but Draco is right - I need to start being brave and put Lily first.

It is time to go back.

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