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FINDING A WOMAN THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE ME WAS ONE THING, HAVING HER BE JASPER'S MATE WAS ANOTHER.
I was incredibly happy for the two of them, they seemed to get along very well, but I couldn't shake the uncanny valley feeling that comes when you find someone that has your face but not your body or hair color. It's as if I didn't grow and bleached my hair blonde, which is... weird to think about, if I'm being entirely honest.
What Jasper said really did haunt me a bit, though. I hated in school when people badmouthed me, talked shit about me in private and acted like everything was alright in public. The realization brought back some memories of my elementary school days that I didn't really want resurfacing. Those days were rough, and Bella Swan reminded me of many of those kids.
It didn't seem to bother anyone else that Jasper joined in on The Notebook screening from the Rec room, so I took that as my opportunity to sprint away and find a new place to hang out.
I needed to sort out my own sorrows over Chrissy. She wasn't going to speak to me now that I was a vampire? Fine. I would be fine.
I still don't know when that will come, the time where I can look back on all of this and say whatever, fuck her. Do vampires get over those things like humans? Something deep in my gut said they didn't and that I would hold these feelings forever, buried deep within my chest to be blocked out from everyday like.
Carlisle once told me that losing friends is indeed traumatic, and that was why I was more succeptible to abusive behaviors from romantic and platonic partners.
I'd lost enough, now Chrissy too. I'd lost her. She was lost.
How would I get over this?
"Hello there, River."
I'd managed to run into Caius walking down the hallway. Great. Not the right time for my own.... relationship drama? Could you call what I had a relationship?
No, I couldn't. We were mates, but we weren't dating or anything. He was still my old boss.
"Hello to you too, Mr. Volturi," I greeted him formally as I tried to evade him, walking further down the hallway.
Caius turned his head at me and followed me, quickly catching up. He softly grabbed hold of my arm and forced me to look at him. "Don't be formal with me, River. You are my mate."
I sighed and accepted defeat. "Goodbye, Caius."
He looked perplexed as I began to walk away again, searching for my rooms that I still hadn't memorized the location of. Just because I remembered everything doesn't mean that the memories are sorted or very reliable in my eyes.
"Why are you leaving?" Caius asked as he followed after me once more, his eyes darkening from a deep red to a near black. "Did you assume I was only greeting you and did not come this way for any reason whatsoever?"
