I don't want to say goodbye

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A/N: He's such a child


Ro stared at the sheet in his shaking hands with blurry eyes, scrawny hand writing of his best friend, or is he allowed to even call him that?

'I'm sorry I had to leave like this. But I can't keep doing this anymore. I'm not as strong as you Ro, mentally I'm drained and tired, I want my wife and daughter to be safe and away from this unfair trolling and cyber bullying, I know you'll take care of the kids in the team, they love you so much. Trust me Ro, you will be much much better off without me, you'll be happy, and I'm sure you'll win a cup for our country, you'll make us all even prouder. In the 15 years of me playing for our country, I'm glad I met you, I'm glad I called you my brother and best friend. I have a lot of regrets but choosing you as my family will never be one. I love you my panda. Maybe years down the lane we'll meet again and you can give me a tight slap then, but for now this is goodbye.'

 He angrily crumpled up that letter and threw it at the wall and stared with a blotchy red face at Jinks who was trying Virat's phone again and again only to get the same automatic message saying the number no longer exists. He looked aghast at his other best friend and sunk down next to him, holding as he cried his heart out,

"He left us Ajju! He's gone and it's all my fault, how am I supposed to do this without him! We were supposed to raise a cup together."

Jinks just held back tears of his own and rubbed Ro's back completely at a loss for words,

'Jinksyyyy, where do I even start, I think among all the letters yours will be the hardest for me to write. I had fought and fought to have you in my team before I stepped down you know? Because I never cared about the form you were in, I just needed you by my side. You were never a deputy to me, you were always my equal. You were always one of the first few people I'd tell everything to, but now, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, however I'm not sorry for leaving. Thanks for everything Jinks. WTC was supposed to be our thing but unfortunately we couldn't lift it together, but those Test Maces I shared with you will always remain special to me. I'm tired Jinks, I knew as long as I stayed I wouldn't truly be at peace, and I deserve that much right? Peace? For me, my family? I'm selfish when it comes to them, so I had to do this. I hope you forgive me my brother. I love you. '

***

Jaddu had ripped his note to pieces and had already set it on fire and he watched it burn with a sick satisfaction in the ash bowl. His eyes burnt with unshed tears, nails digging into his palm, blood bubbling out and forming tiny crystals but that didn't hurt as much as those words his oldest friend wrote to him before he disappeared with the stars at dawn completely opposite to the way he came into his life all the way back in 2008, a loud hyper child excited to be friends with his roommate and boy had they clicked instantly.

'Jaddu, oh Jad, I know you'll be furious with me. I always did tell you I'd take you along with me if I went on an adventure, but now, I left without you, but it's for the best. Trust me. But don't be jealous my Rajput, when inevitably your ghost friends in Jamnagar tell you where I am, you can come meet me, I promise I won't flake on you that time, we will take on one last adventure together. Pakka wala promise. Just please don't hate me Jaddu, whatever I'm doing it's for the best, for myself, Nush, Vami and all of you,  don't expect you to understand it, I just want you to accept it. I know you and I never did tell each other how much we love each other, but I love you Jad, thanks for always being there for me. See you when the time is right.'

A tear slid down the brave, stoic, Ravindrasinh Jadeja's face and he aggressively, hastily wiped it away, but more tears fell, he covered his face and just sobbed uncontrollably, he vaguely felt Ash's hands on his shoulder holding him, Ash who looked just as distraught reading his own letter which just had a simple

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