Unforgotten Memories - Sanegiyuu Angst

Chapter 12

3rd person pov:

The soft clinks of glass echoed throughout the entire house as each wobbly step shook the wooden floor. The man stumbled around the house with no clear motive on where he was planning to go.

He missed the soft smile on the latter's face, and he missed the calming fragrance of the salty oceanic scent. He craved for the smooth skin of the latter and he wanted to warm touch of his.

He missed him.
He wanted him.
He loved him.

But he was nowhere to be seen.

If only the scarred male had noticed the blooming sensation of love in his heart, if only he had noticed it all - then maybe he would have been happier now.

But what could he do? Fate was cruel and belittled him. It crafted a false love that was gifted to someone else and choose to ignore the beauty of the ravenette that should have been for the scarred male. It made the male blind and yet - all sanemi could do was to blame himself for the unfortunate death of giyuu tomioka.

Sanemi held up another bottle and downed the liquor in one gulp, cringing at the burning sensation dancing on his tongue whilst he scoffed in delight at the pain. At least it showed him he was alive - but the harsh reality of the fact that giyuu wasn't there was petrifying for him.

He wanted to get high, so he wouldn't be able to remember the man he loved.

And yet, everything reminded him of the latter.

"Fuck..." Sanemi groaned, holding his head as a ringing pain exploded in his skull. The migraine which was haunting him for the past week was killing him and the agony which shot through him reminded him greatly of the torturous moment of tomioka's death.

It hurts.
It stings.
It's agonising.
But he felt as if be deserved it.

A loud thud sounded from the floorboards and sanemi grunted, arm throbbing in pain as he leaned against the wall. He cursed in anger at his own carelessness but the sudden anger had dissipated into an empty sorrow as he remembered the kind warmth of tomioka.

"If you were here.. you would have nagged at me for being so damn fucking careless," sanemi laughed, scoffing under his breath as his smile disappeared, "but you aren't here, damnit" he groaned.

The scared male held the bottle up and slammed it against the wall, shattering the bottle into fine bits. He didn't bothered if the sharp shards of glass dug into his skin, and all he could do was laugh.

"Why the fuck did you have to leave me tomioka? Why did you have to die? Why didn't I save you? Why couldn't I save you? Why must I be so incompetent? Why didn't I care for you?" He mumbled, "you are an asshole for dying so early, and I must be an idiot for not realising that I loved you sooner." Sanemi weeped.

"I understand if you hate me, but I'm sorry for not loving you sooner tomioka, I'm sorry for being such a bitch." Sanemi giggled, laughing sadly as a stream of tears rolled down his cheek. "I'm sorry for letting you die but if we were to ever meet again in the afterlife, I hope you can give me another chance because I love you, giyuu" he smiled.