THE WALKING DEAD: BLOODBOURNE

dear diary

They say that pain develops you into who you are...but how much pain can you go through before it gets to be too much..before you feel like isolating, before you feel like giving up.

My name is Savannah Jamie Ramirez. A lot has happened since This started. It's been months since things have been normal, and I'd be lying if i said that I didn't miss it.

But because we're not aquainted. I guess i'll show you just how we got here..

————————Months earlier————————-

"Jamie! MIJA. GET DOWN STAIRS RIGHT NOW!" Says my mom. I can hear her screaming

I sigh and roll my eyes, "YA ME VOY.." I say escalating my voice and I put on one of my old T-shirts and I put my hair in a ponytail.

I walk down the stairs and my mother talks to me with her hands on her hips. What's her deal I haven't done anything.

"What have you been doing all day? I told you.."

I have a bad habit of zoning out. I really just wanna go take a walk out by the lake. Mama has been getting on me for being so reserved. But it's ridiculous, I'm 17 years old I can take care of myself.

"MIJA." My mom snaps her finger and I untuned her out my ears.

"I've told you to come out your room so many times in the last week! What's going on? We need to get you a therapist if you're not gonna talk to me and your dad." She says with a concerned look on her face.

I sat back in silence. I wanted to say something but the words just refuse to come out. I feel shame.

My mom walks over to me. "You know money is tight right now. And your father, well you know he's been working, Your birthday is coming and your abuela wanted me to give you a gift." My mom gives me a bracelet. It's engraved, "WE LOVE YOU JAMIE, BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE."

My eyes begin to tear up. I never had a birthday, we never really had that much money, My family said i've always been a pretty girl, but that didn't stop me from getting my ass kicked in school. Between being poor, and being Afro-Latina, people really made fun of me and I never truly had confidence in myself.

I hug my mom. I don't let go either, tears fell down my face my mom hears my sniffles and feels the heat of my tears.

"Mom. I love you all and i'm sorry. Things just have been hard and I feel like things on my plate have really stressed me out." I say quietly.

My mom takes my curly hair out my bun. she runs her fingers through it and kisses my head. "Oh honey. It's okay. I know that you will get through your tough time, but don't forget who you are Jamie."

I smile and nod at her.

My dad opens the door with groceries in a big brown bag. "Did someone sayyy..hold on...groceries??" My dad has the biggest smirk on his face It was so sweet but..I don't know It was a little silly to me

I look at my mom and she looks at me and we look at my dad

"You know what lemme just get inside." He says

"There's a get together for a promotion for me at my Job, they invited you both!" My dad says smiling putting the groceries down.

"Promotion!?" My mom says

"Papi that's great!!" I say hugging him and shaking him

The evening is just starting, The sunset hasn't even arrived yet.

"What are y'all waiting for? Let's get dressed!" He says, I kinda drag my feet walking to the stairs a bit, I don't say much as I've never really tried to care about all that. I've always watched girls on Youtube and stuff but i've never done it, Im gonna try today I guess

I walked up the stairs and I closed the door, I took a quick shower to refresh myself and I washed my hair and conditioned it, I put gel in it to make my curls pop and hold the conditioner and I shook them. I used my hairdryer quickly to get my curls to dry

After, I changed into this pink dress Mi Abuela gave to me from when she was my age, She said she was a fit curvy girl growing up, I never knew if I could fit it but my mom said I'd probably look just like her when I got older.

I look and the mirror and spin, I feel like I look good, The dress naturally compliments me? But I need shoes and something else.

My mom gave me eyeliner some time ago, I loved it because I loved rock artist and it made me feel like I had face paint.

I put on some eyeliner and i put on my lipstick, I found this old black purse under my bed and I put it on and stepped in the mirror, I feel pretty, for the first time in a long time.