The One I Cannot Have

Chapter 11: I wish I could pretend I didn't need you

He didn't reply to anything. He just stared at the coffee in front of him for a moment.

I giggled and said, "You look desperate. It might be very difficult for you"

"It's not about intercourse. I really want to get rid of that woman and I want it as soon as possible. I will not be able to travel every day to the city. And staying in the house hasn't been an easy task for me since the last year"

"You have waited for this long without any hopes, you can wait for some more days I will be in town this weekend and I will start the procedure. Don't worry about it"

"Of course, I have to worry about it since my life depends on it. Where are we going first?"

"It's not we, I will take the first step. We cannot afford to let your wife or my company know about what I am going to do. It cannot risk both your life and my job. I will first talk with the lawyers and when they will agree I will take you to them for your statements. Okay?"

"I understand." He nodded.

"Where are your parents now?" I asked. Changing the topic. Talking about his wife would be the last thing I would like to talk about with him so I had to change the topic. And it had to be his centric as I cannot see any interest in him knowing about me or my life. He is here because he needs me now for his benefit. He just wants to get rid of his wife and then I will again disappear from his life, I will stay just here loving him and he will disappear. Do all these doesn't matter nowadays? because I have always loved him without him and I know I will continue this until someone changes my mind. He is my friend first so I cannot resist helping him. He can take my help, advantage anytime. I will never say no. I just wanted him happy and I still want it.

"They are in my hometown. My sister stays with them."

"What is she doing? Your sister?"

"Studying. I hope she doesn't fall into the trap I went into when I was her age"

"She might be an intelligent girl" I praised his sister without knowing her.

"She is. Wait a minute. Did you just call me dumb?" He made a face saying it.

"No. I didn't" I refused.

"You said my sister might be intelligent when I said she will not fall into the trap I felt. You mean that I am dumb for falling into the trap?"

"I had no intention. And trust me I didn't mean that you are dumb. You are one of the most intelligent people I met in my life and I mean it. You have always been good in studies, sports, and other fields. I will be dumb to call you dumb."

"Better" he smiled, I smiled at him too.

"So what's next?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Our coffee is almost over. Are we going to keep ordering food and sit for hours in the cafe continuing our chats? Do you always sit with coffee?" He said looking around.

"It looks professional when we sit face to face and talk about a deal. I normally do it in my office or the place I am told to but since we are doing something unofficially we had to select a place to sit face-to-face and talk about it"

"I am not your client, I am your friend, Siya. You can be friendly with me you can you frank with me and what are you doing? being professional with me? I am feeling like I am talking to a counselor or something. I have been silent for a long but now I am going to tell you that this is not right" he looked excited.

"Did I do anything wrong?"

"Yes. You are not doing anything right. You are not treating me like your friend. We are supposed to go on long walks, go to bars, get drunk, Go on long drives without knowing where to go, and end up being caught by police. This is what friends do. Even when I am taking your help, we can have fun through all this process going on for my Divorce. Instead, we are just sitting in a cafe and talking about my fucked up life." When he finished he look tired I forwarded him the bottle of water in front of me. He quickly drank some water and felt some relief.