Pulling every string in your heart

Chapter 6 Is this what hell feels like?

Zodian pov
It's been two days since I asked for a DNA test of the body they have found. The people called this morning and told me to come look at the results personally. Now I'm even more afraid than I was before. If it's negative then the search will continue and my daughter might be missing forever, but if it matches then...I don't know what I would do.

I sat at the edge of my bed thinking about everything at once. How I've failed to protect my child, I feel like all of this is my fault. I should have driven her to whatever destination she needed to go to and taught her better on how to protect herself better. I wish I had been there with her to make sure she was okay. Out of all my kids, she's the strongest and the kindest, and she's different from most people. Something about her makes her special and now...she might be dead because I failed to protect her.

I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't realize my wife walked in. She was holding one of Ziatki's hoodies up to her face. I could tell she had been crying because her eyes were red and sore. I stood up and walked to her holding her by her waist. It's getting hard for both of us to stay hopeful and have faith. It's like a gigantic weight is being put on both of our shoulders and every second it gets heavier and heavier.

"Hey, I'm sorry...I'm so sorry love. It's all my fault I should have been there to protect her." I said letting a tear roll down my eye. She looked up at me with her adorable brown eyes, they were now soaked and puffy from all her crying. "Don't apologize for something that's not your fault, don't blame yourself. We just have to stay strong no matter how difficult it is. I'm trying so hard to control my tears but baby I can't. I just can't...I feel like all of this is going to end so badly."

Her voice was so soft but so broken that it seemed like it hurt for her to speak. Her words came out with small cracks in them, it's like the pain she is feeling is trying to escape out of her mouth. I could feel it myself. I pulled her in slowly not knowing what to say and just hugged her tightly letting her head be gently placed in my neck. I felt her tears run down her eyes and it made me cry with her.

I love my family and my wife with every inch of my soul but to be here right now feeling this hurts us so deeply. I held on to her for about ten minutes not wanting to let go of her. All the thoughts kept coming back to me, what if my daughter is dead and I'm about to go confirm that the body I saw a few days ago is hers?

20 minutes later

I sat in my car like I did before, trying to prepare myself for what was about to happen. It's taking me a little longer since this is something that could change me and my family forever. I prayed and had as much faith as I possibly could at the moment. Once I was fully ready I got out of my car and went inside the building. The officer I had seen before wasn't here so I went to the lady who was waiting at the front desk.

"Excuse me, ma'am, I'm here to get the DNA test. My name is Zodian Royal." I said while trying to stay calm. "Oh right, Mr. Royal. Here is the information you need right here. If you need anything else lemme know." She said while giving me a yellow envelope. I grabbed the envelope and paused for a moment trying to catch my breath. I heard footsteps coming my way but I didn't care to look up and see who it was.

My mind zoned out completely as the results were waiting patiently in my hand to be opened, but I couldn't do it. My hands started shaking like I was about to have a seizure and I wanted to sit on the floor and cry like a baby. There was a voice speaking behind me but everything was a blur, I couldn't see properly or hear anything.

"Hey, Mr. Royal? Mr. Royal, are you alright?"

"Sir, are you okay?"

I felt someone gently put their hand on my shoulder and it made my mind open back up. I wiped my eyes trying to clear my vision and was met by a white man with a grandfather-like beard. He had a police uniform and a sheriff's badge on his left shoulder. "Hello sir, I'm Sheriff Warren, nice to meet you." He extended his hand out for me to shake, but something about him felt off, so I kept my hands exactly where they were. He just stared at me for 10 seconds waiting for me to make a move, but I remained the way I was. I never liked the sheriff here. I never wanted to meet him. I can tell when something is up with a person and that tension rises when it comes to this man.