Some Things Are Just Hard To End

Hard To End 64

"why are you crying?" he asked after we finished watching spirited away, I can't still get over the fact that I've cried multiple times because of this movie. not because of pain, but because of the fluttering feeling of letting go.

"H-how can love to make you feel pain and happiness at the same time? hindi ba puwedeng..." I can't finish my sentence after realizing that I'm blabbering too much.

"It is not love if it can't make you feel at ease at the same time nervous, like pain and contentment... love is the most complicated emotion ever created."

my breathing left my lungs when he didn't flinch after saying those words as he looks through my soul. he said those words looking into my eyes and creating big holes in my thoughts.

"So you're crying because you are in love..." he utters like it is the most interesting verse In his bibble.

I can't look into his eyes the way he did to mine, I might die knowing that he's just right there trying to read me like an open book.

marahan akong umiling at ibinaba ang paningin.

"N-no, it's just funny how can love make us feel unwanted feelings. I'm just wondering." why does it have to be so hard? Feel the love don't feel the love... all the same.

"Wondering why love can make you feel pain? can you rate the pain you are feeling right now? like... from one to ten, rate it." he demanded. his thick brows furrowing from curiosity, anxioususness and a small hints of fire in his eyes. is he mad?

I sighed and smiled sadly, this time my courage is slowly getting into me.

"Ewan ko sa'yo, is it even important? the rate of pain? what will you do if I told you that it's just one?" I taunted.

it's his turn to sigh deeply.

"What will I do..." he asked himself. after seconds of trying to mimic the thinking face he comes up with a decision. "I'll let you feel it."

"Because I want you to tell me where it hurts, feel the pain, and tell me where it hurts. if it's too much, call my name. shout! I will come running to you."

his smile didn't reach his eyes, those doe-shaped stars glistened with sad tears just like mine.

"Tell me where it hurts Natalia Paula." I just looked at him with pressed tears, my button lip trembled as I tried not to sob but when he slowly hugged me everything came down. my frustrations and pain came down crashing.

"It hurts here..." Touching his chest feels like a fevered dream and instead of staying away he pulled me tighter.

"Why not choose me instead?" he whispered to my hair.